Hi guys, This is more of a rant because I am really pissed off, but any replies are appreciated and I would like to know what some other people think. It goes like this, one of my uni housemates, who i'd known from my course last year, was the first person I'd come out to at uni, and last night, this girl from our course was into me on a night out, and he kept pushing me to do stuff with her, ended up saying I should get with her to "earn our respect" (as in his and our other housemates, one of whom also knows, the other don't) and that was it, I lost it, it ruined what was, for once, an alright night. I mean, what w****r says something like that when he knows full well that I am not into girls, or at the very least still unsure if I do as well as already liking guys. He'd already been being a dick by avoiding me and being awkward around me, and just when I thought we'd got past it as I talked to him the day before, he goes and does that! When I asked him to have a word do I could tell him not to, he wouldn't even extend the courtesy of allowing me to do so away from a packed bar, and then when I did he decided to go all stroppy and stubborn. I went with my other housemate who knows to have a talk about it, and he told the other one it was out of order, which prompted a hasty, empty, and slightly drunken apology. I mean, what a dick, "earn our respect by getting with some girl even though you like guys and not necessarily girls" Just because his girlfriend doesn't f*****g love him anymore doesn't mean he should take it out on people that still, or did at least before last night, give a shit about him. I already do enough shit to have earned their bloody respect, if it wasn't for me they'd be neck high in unpaid bills, rubbish and mess. They wouldn't even have the house because I came in at the last minute to replace a drop out. Rant over. If you made it all the way, congratulations.
Something I forgot to mention, and this is what REALLY pisses me off, is that the arse probably won't even come to apologise or talk about it, and will either expect me to go to him or forget about it.
Having been up for a bit longer I have also realised that he has now forced me into a situation where I either have to lie to my other housemates about what happened and face losing respect, although according to him I never had it anyway, or I have to tell them the truth, which tbh I don't think I was ready to do yet. I don't think I'm going to be able to forgive him for this, especially when I know the dickhead won't come an apologise before he goes to work, instead he's woken up and began tweeting and shit about how he's woken up and doesn't feel bad. I'm tired of being the only one who seems to give a shit about remaining friends, and the only one who seems to want to actually try and sort out problems rather than hide from them!
Well, there;s nothing wrong with ditching a bad friend... If you lose their respect because you didn't try it on with some random girl, is it really that much of a loss? I mean I don't think you WILL lose their respect, but if you DO what does it matter? Who needs that kind of respect.
Aye, ditching bad friends is actually a good thing. If you can't be yourself and need to do things you don't want to for earning their respect, they don't deserve YOUR respect, or YOUR friendship. Now as they're housemates, it's a bit more difficult since you will need to either move to another household or find a way to be able to keep living with them. But ultimately, these wankers don't deserve your respect, friendship, or anything at all. Better cut them off as soon as you can. Coming out to the entire household, if you're at all comfortable with that, could be a nice to get back at them though. But that's entirely up to you, I am merely voicing my take on the situation.
Thanks guys, fortunately, I have finished for the year so I could go home today of I wanted, and I haven't yet tied myself into staying here next year so I could just live at home again, as much as I don't want to. I would like to try and sort it out, last year we were pretty good friends, and it was only him that said it. I need to speak to the others though to determine how they feel, hopefully it's a case of only the one being a wanker by saying I should earn respect by doing shit I don't want to do. But then perhaps you are right, maybe I should ditch him.
I would have thought it would have been a bit more obvious if the whole lot of them thought the only way to earn respect was to randomly have sex with strange women... It could just be wishful thinking on my part, but it seems unlikely that they ALL think that...
I spoke to the other people in my house last night, they all agree that what he said was unacceptable, and out of order. Even more so when he knows that I am not into girls. They all seemed pretty ok with it, but now I feel like I was forced into either telling them or lying, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him for that, regardless of whether they are ok with it or not. He is still a stubborn child, and on his return from work went straight to his room with no attempt at an apology.
