I am indecisive on telling a couple of my closest friends that I like girls. Today at lunch they brought up Idaho unbanning same sex marriage. I listened into to just see how their reactions were. One of the girls said she was fine with it as long as they don't try hitting on her and actually felt everyone should have a choice to marry. The other one he didn't say anything bad about it. Now I am unsure what to say or when to say it or not say it. I don't think these two will care, I am just scared in case they do. I don't want to be known as the gay friend. I keep thinking well you know what? maybe I am straight. Then I will like someone (girl). This sucks. I don't like the feeling of this closeted crap, yet I am so unsure of whether or not to come out. I don't want people to see me in that way. I am even having a difficult time coming out to someone (who supports gay rights). This royally sucks.
There is no right or wrong time to come out, only your own time. It's good that your friends seemed okay with the idea of same sex marriage and from what you say, they have a positive attitude towards homosexuality, but that doesn't automatically make it time for you to come out. The good thing is that you have something positive to refer to, when you are ready. You can use the conversation as a 'way in'. One of the things that makes coming out so scary is taking that step into the unknown. When we don't know how people will react it makes it seem so daunting, but this conversation should help remove that level of fear. It would seem rather hypocritical if they now say "it's okay for them, but not for you". In all honesty, I wouldn't want friends like that. Don't think of this as a missed opportunity, think of it as an opportunity when you are ready to take it up.
I am going to try my best to work through this. I am graduating college tomorrow which was my main focus at the time and now feel it is the right time to work on myself-self esteem, anxiety, fears, coming out. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Coming out is hard each time. I'm not completely out but most of my friends know and every time I tell someone, I feel really nervous but also liberated at the same time. I'm craving for complete out-ness at this point. No one wants to be rejected by their friends and I'm not saying use this as a reason but...if your friends are actually your friends, they will accept you.
