There's this guy I've found on twitter who follows me. He lives near me and he goes to college with some of my old classmates. After doing a bit of research stalking (my bad :dry, he seems like a nice guy and I'd like to get to know him more. I usually find it very easy to get to know people, if I've met them first in real life. I'm not so great at just chatting to strangers on the internet. Anyway, I want to message him, but I don't really know what to say. I don't want to appear like some desperate stalker. Any tips on what to say?
You could just say Hi, or at least something like that. That's what I do if I want to text someone I don't know. Sometimes it gets really great but on the other side sometimes it's really awful and I regret, but I have more positive experiences than the other ones so you could try this way. If you have stalked him, you should know what you have in common and you can try to talk about that.
Well first of all, are you sure he's gay or bi? When you say you'd "like to get to know him more", I presume you would be interested him in that way. Secondly, how come he's following you on Twitter if you don't know him in person? It's not odd at all to follow someone you don't know, but normally there's some reason unless you're a celebrity or something. Anyway, if it is the kind of thing where he would be interested in you in that way, then the oldest trick in the Twitter book for letting someone know you're interested is to favourite every single one of his tweets. It will get to a point where he'll get the hint, and if he's interested, he'll probably start either doing the same, or try and get in contact in some way! (Trust me, I know three people who've started relationships this way!)
Thanks for the good advice. I'm pretty sure he's gay, since his tweets are very obvious and he posts pictures of male celebs saying how gorgeous they are and everything. And he's tweeted that he's single. So I think I may have a shot. There's loads of opportunities to talk to him, but my only doubt is that I think he may be out of my league. But I might take the risk and chat to him after all my college exams are over.
Don't ever think someone is out of your league. He's the one who followed you, so obviously he likes you at least as a friend.
Not that I've messaged random people I don't know more than a few times, but I tend to just be honest and almost always end up getting a reply. I'd send him a DM saying something like this: 140 characters.
I lack the confidence and guts to do such as thing. But I did get talking to him, asked him about this job and asked what he thought of it. He saw from my profile that I was bisexual and immediately brought that up into conversation. He told me he was gay. We later got chatting about mutual interests and it was going okay. Sadly, I stupidly made a mistake and asked him for his number saying I'd like to get to know him better, even though we'd only been talking for about an hour. He hasn't replied since and I'm a little concerned that I look like a right fool. I said 'Hey it's been great talking to you, I've gotta go to sleep now though. Mind if I have your number, it would be great to talk some more sometime?' He hasn't replied since and I'm a bit worried I've scared him off or something. What do people think of this situation?
Unfortunately some people get scared off when it starts to become more "real" -- I know I've made that same mistake and I really regret it. Give him a day or so to respond (maybe he went to sleep at the same time?) and if he doesn't figure out if it's worth messaging him again to see if it's possible to continue talking online. I know that may seem awkward or pathetic, but what do you have to lose? If the options are never talking to him again or to take a limited chance to maybe talk to him again it seems like an easy decision, but that's your call.
^good advice. You might say something like "Sorry if asking for your number was too soon. I'm fine with just talking here as friends." Besides, it's a lot easier to talk as friends first rather than assuming this must lead to a relationship.
Thank you both for your advice. Yeah, thankfully he was just asleep and had been at work at all day, so I gave him my number instead and said he wanted to text/call me he could, since the ball would be in his court. He text me and we've been talking quite a bit now, so everything's going well so far. I'm keeping things on a friendly basis for now, since I'd like to actually meet him in person before taking anything seriously. Plus I don't want to be seen as desperate and would rather take it slowly.
That's fantastic! Glad to hear it was just a simple misunderstanding. It's so easy to jump to conclusions when stuff like that happens; I'm definitely guilty of that. Just go with the flow and see what happens.
