I'm jealous of my sister she's 18 and she's prospering in her life and I'm sinking in mine . I'm 20 I should've graduated from community and and went to nursing school but I didn't do that ,it makes me wanna swallow pills that I'm not smarter than her . What should I do ? She's going into her dorm soon and I'm living with my parents it should be the fucking reverse !
I used to feel that same way about my sister (who is a year older than me). She excelled at high school, excelled in sports, excelled at university, has lots of friends, is confident and outgoing, has a stable job, a husband and 3 (wonderful) kids. Meanwhile I was a high school dropout, was average at sports, generally pretty untalented, have had about 15 different jobs in 20 years, gay, single, living on my own, probably not considered as typically good looking, a bit introverted etc... I used to be very upset that my parents weren't as proud of me as they were of my sister. It was never the case of course, but if that's what your mind tells you, then that's what you believe. My happiness and safety was actually all that really mattered to them, not my achievements and certainly not how much money I made or how many grandchildren I made for them. On a side note, I think they're kind of happy now to only have 3 grandkids, they're certainly busy enough as it is. Anyway... Society has taught us that having a good paying job, a house, a family etc.. is the pinnacle of what we should be striving for in our lives. But just because it's common, doesn't mean it's right or normal. You REALLY don't need to have those things to be a success in life, heck you could be 40 years old and still not know what to do with your life but your success would be all the adventures and experiences you had along the way. The people who went to uni, started a stable job, started a family would be kind of "locked out" of that kind of success. So it's basically about re-assessing what you see as success. There's a good chance there are different things out there for you, more amazing things than what you can even imagine or dream of. Sorry, I went off on a few tangents there that might not be relevant to you, but I hope you find something there that helps. To quote a Mary Schmich speech / Baz Luhrmann song: Don't waste your time on jealousy Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself Peace!
Ahhh nothing like sibling rivalry. Jealousy can be though of as a bad thing, but I see it as neutral-it all depends on how you use it. Use it as a driving force to do better. There is nothing wrong with competition, but you shouldn't always compare yourself with her. This is coming from a younger sibling who was thought as the weak, cute, and sensitive one. She's human, she has flaws as well. Be happy for her, I win for her is a win for you, and vice versa.
Most people will probably tell you that jealousy is the "green-eyed monster" and that it's a waste of your energies. Personally, I've found jealousy to be quite motivating. So you're jealous of your sister and her accomplishments? Then let that be the reason you make a plan to improve your situation and put it into action! I think jealousy is only bad when it means you just sit around envious of someone else and their achievements and it doesn't lead to any sort of action. But if jealousy means you're motivated toward your own goals and achievements, then I think it can be useful.
