I feel I have one more year with my parents

I am sorry that you are in this situation. I stopped trying to understand Christianity long time ago.

But it happens in the life that following your own path will make you enemies or make you drift apart with the people you know. It just never should happen with parents and their kids.

 

Yes and no I mean I know my mom is supportive and found out my dad is to bc he has a gay student (he's a teacher) and ya the ticking part I feel like I have to wait and tell them for 2 reasons if I came out now they would prob say I'm too young and the other reason was maybe I should wait till high school since I won't have any girl friends I would just hope they'd get suspicious and then realize it I think they've had some clues but oh well sorry to hear your going through that I'm dealing with a lot of other stuff right now I'm trying to make it work but it's hard I'm here for u though if u wanna talk (*hug*)

 

Hi Ghost93

I was in your position for a while when I lived with my parents.I thought that my mum might accept me,but my "homophobic" dad would make staying there almost impossible.

When I moved out and settled in my own place I was ready to come out but mum was ill so I put it off,she got taken into hospital and unfortunately she died.Soon after her funereral was over I came out to my brother one afternoon and my dad that evening.My brother was very accepting.My dad was semi alright and said it was my life and my choice,at which point I stopped him and pointed out that this isn't a choice at all and asked him if he "choose" to be straight.He went quiet for a minute,then said "oh I see" and that was it.He has been supportive ever since.

After my experience I would say that you are 100% right about keeping quiet while you need there support,simply because you never know.But please don't give up on your family just yet,alot of homophobic people are the way they are out of ignorance not hate.If your family don't personaly interact with any gay people they don't realise that being gay is only a small part of who we are,just as it is with a straight person.When your parents eventually learn the truth about you,they may come to realise that you are the same son that they have always loved but also happens to be gay.

Good luck and hope you are as surprised as I was

 

I am in the same situation as you, but in my case I still have at least 2 years to go. The problem is that, from my point of view, for hiding we are already destroing our relationship with them for not talking about such an important part of our life. But this is the best alternative in the circunstances.
I wish courage and strengh for you until THE moment!!

 

I think your parents love you and eventually they'll choose you over everything.

Do you have any siblings?

 

Being honest about who you are is a huge step. Parents that aren't supportive can be a huge hurdle for lots of people in your shoes.

I echo the advice to wait and give it time to be the right time. Maybe your parents will come around in time, maybe not. Only time will tell. But having a support group to help be there to support you is hugely helpful if things with them don't head in a positive direction..

Hang in there...

 

It sounds like your parents (or maybe just your Mom) have suspicions about you and she's speaking negatively about it so as to make you "change your mind" or to discourage you from "choosing to be gay". Ignorance can be so annoying sometimes.

Could be wrong though.

Hang in there mate.
Peace!

 

Can't choose your family hey...
Just as well you can choose your friends.

They're quite understandable things to be angry at them about.
Unfortunately they probably don't know how evil/ignorant/bigoted/damaging they are being and they'll find it very difficult to change their ways.

I really wish things could be better for you.
We’re born with millions of little lights shining in the dark, and they show us the way, one lights up every time we feel love in our hearts, one dies when it moves away.

 

Ummm, maybe you could use your support for gay marriage as a way of a pre-coming out, they know you support gay marriage, that is not as confrontational as coming out, but is a start, maybe next time they come with something like "gay marriage will destroy society and damage family' you could question them on how will gaybmarriage have that effect, specially when only a minority of the population is gay. So that you begin that way opening their minds a bit, slowly and subtly, to the idea of you being gay.

 

I came out to my parents last week and they refuse to believe that I feel this way. They said that evil spirits are controlling me and that I need to pray in order for these thoughts and feelings to diminish. I come from a Christian backgrowund and my parent's views on homosexuality are very biased. Although I am bisexual, they believe that I can only have feelings for boys. I just find it really hard to deal with this and I understand where you are coming from.

 

My mom I'm pretty sure is very well aware. She just has chosen to remain in denial and pretend that my current girlfriend is just a friend. I gave up a year ago trying to talk to her about it because she'd either get angry if we discussed LGBT issues or ignore when I tried to talk about it. I made a vow when I first came out that I would wait until after I left university to be more open about myself, I still struggle because of my mom being so insistent on me hiding myself from most people, but it helps I'm out to four or five friends,all of my online friends, and my girlfriend's friends and family.

I also have my brother who has been supportive and accepting, and my counselor who I have been seeing for two years to help with my anxiety and other surrounding issues. I've had to keep a lot of it quiet because I still rely on my mother somewhat as I'm still finding my direction after graduating college and I don't plan to move for another two years.

 

We have THE same problem!

In answer to your question, yes. I am in the exact same boat, my friend. I feel like I'm going crazy as my sexuality is constantly in my thoughts and it just isn't appropriate or safe for me to act on them at this point in my life. We have been dealt a bit of a challenging hand. Faith and family seem to be the scariest roadblocks when it comes to coming out (I say "seem" because I haven't come out yet). But when you've been bought up in a strict, religious household and you have parents that have homophobic views (mainly due to their belief in what the Bible, and thus God, says about homosexual tendencies being unnatural) those roadblocks seem insurmountable.

What I have found to be the key and also a virtue is patience. You are only 21. You have plenty of time. Do not worry. Breathe. If you wish to come out and be out to all and everyone but you are holding back because you are scared of getting kicked out of home by your parents then it seems to me that your focus should be to set yourself up financially and move out when you are able to support yourself. Remember, you're only 21 and have PLENTY of time to have fun. Once you've moved out by yourself if it isn't your desire to stay in your parents' faith then slowly break away from that first. If they're still willing to keep the lines of communication open after you are separated from the faith then that seems like the perfect time to sit them down and share with them who you are as a person and what your values and beliefs are (coming out, in two words).
Please bear in mind though that this is not something I have tried and tested. It just seems, to me personally, to be logical advice. Ultimately though, you are the only one who knows your situation and you are the best judge of when it is most appropriate and safe to come out.

I hope things work out for you, my friend. You just never know. The people closest to us aren't always as predictable as we think them to be. Much love!