My crush is questioning and idk how to navigate the situation

Hello! Looking for a sounding board that can maybe help offer me some insight on my mind-eff of a crush situation, because I'm over thinking myself like crazy and don't really have anyone in my life I can turn to.

I do MMA and my group is really tight. We're a pretty competitive bunch and it's one of my biggest social outlets as well. Awhile back we were all out at a bar together and, once she got a little tipsy, one of the girls I didn't actually know that well grabbed my hand out of nowhere and led me to the dance floor, and I might as well have seen like cartoon-style fireworks in my eyes. After awhile more people from our group came over to dance and she moved on from me to just friendly dancing with some of the other ladies in the group.

I didn't know anything about her sexuality and after a few attempts to figure out on my own a friend of mine was in convo with her and just blatantly asked her if she was gay and she replied that she was questing.

I found that promising at first and wanted to get to know her and feel out the situation without pressuring her, but it's starting to make me go kind of ga ga and I feel like a paranoid idiot most of the time.

A straight friend of mine, for example, has been getting on my nerves lately with her particular brand of allying. You know, thinks that having gay friends are a trendy accessory, likes to go to gay bars with her straight friends like it's some kind of novelty, talks about her interest in exploring in a way that seems completely disingenuous, like after she breaks up with a dude says maybe it's time she explored women, that kind of thing. Idk I try really hard not to judge other people's sexual expression but there's just something so fake about any of her comments in this area that it raises red flags to me.

Anyway, I have this horrible fear she's going to do something with my crush. My crush and her have similar career paths and we were all out celebrating friend's recent promotion and crush made some offhand comment about wishing to be so accomplished some day and I saw red. Ever since then I totally over analyze every interaction between them. I told my friend about the crush, because even though her ally kind of stuff can irk me she is a great friend to me, and I was hoping if she was looking to finally experiment with this other girl maybe I could stave it off if she knew I was actually having feelings for her. But then she does things like kiss my crush on the cheek goodbye and make vaguely sexual comments and get kind of flirty. I mostly get the feeling that she is just in it for the attention, but I'm afraid if my crush is kind of vulnerable at this point that she may get swept up in it and ignore me.

It's all really baseless at this point, friend is still only talking about men and she's almost 15 years older than crush and just not at the same life level as her at all, but I get this paranoid fear that makes me feel just sick. I have to miss an out of town competition for a work event and I am terrified of them being out of town and partying and sharing a hotel together. Again, this is totally baseless.

Anyway, sorry I realize how rambly I'm getting, but the other night we were out together again. Crush and I had intermittent interactions since the last time. This night at the bar I can't really get her to look at me or talk to me a whole ton. My friend is getting flirty with her and it's bumming me out. I was sitting alone with crush at one point and both our drinks were empty so I offered to get her one and she declined and got it for herself. I text friend that I'm getting discouraged and a little later the two of them come over to me and we all sit together. Crush seems a little flirty with both of us.

Friend leaves. Crush starts sitting really close to me. Soon she's putting her arm around me, randomly hugging me, putting her head on my shoulder. She mentioned a costume party she was going to the next day and said I should come and offered to help "play dress up" with me to get me ready for the party. She puts her hand on my knee and keeps running her hands up and down my leg, doesn't pull away when I reciprocate, etc.

Then the bar closes, I offer to drive her home, we get to her house, and... she's says thanks gets out of the car and goes inside. I don't hear from her the next day about the party. I see her a the gym for a group class and she barely speaks to or looks at me.

Every time I try to talk to her I sound like an idiot. I am normally so cool and collected with people I am interested in but she terrifies me. I can't read her. It's like she'll only be affectionate with me if she's a little tipsy (but not real drunk) and I don't know if that's a "she may be interested and just too shy" thing or a "would only consider it if alcohol is involved" kind of thing. People often say she is stuck up but even before I started to crush on her I always said she just seemed kind of awkward to me and it came across as a coldness. Now I can't tell if she's just shy and awkward or disinterested.

As such I'm terrified to ask her out because I'm afraid I'll going to come across as a nuisance. I'm terrified if I don't ask her out she's going to hook up with my friend. And I'm terrified that since she is a couple years younger than me and still just questioning that even if we got together I'd fall hard for her and she'd get bored of me real fast and want to explore more and omg I am just so irrational and weird and jittery and just out right stupid and I can't make sense of anything anymore.

Tl;DR I can't read my crush at all and it's making me paranoid about people I trust. Not sure how to move forward.