The title of the thread may sound bad but I couldn't figure out how else to word it lol. Um, my problem is that my late 70's old grandmother (whom I obviously love) cannot quite understand what I'm talking about when I try to describe my gender and sexual orientation. In the time she grew up in, you basically had male/female and gay/straight... and maybe bi. That was pretty much it lol. There was no transgender, androgyne, genderqueer, pansexual, asexual, demisexual or sapiosexual or anything of the like. She keeps saying she doesn't want people to know I'm "gay", and I keep saying I'M NOT... GAY lol. It doesn't quite fit with me (androsexual is best term). I've tried to tell her these different words, very slowly, with clarity and basic terminology lol. And she just can't get it. I've also tried to describe that I'm transgender, I feel like a woman I can relate to women better etc etc and she just... can't understand. She thinks it's weird and that I'm just "gay" and nothing more because in her mind... that's all there really is as far as labels are concerned. So... how do I fix this? What can I say/do to at least make this situation a little bit better? Thanks
If she's computer savvy, try this link. http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202 If not then... I uh don't really know... both my (living) grandmas are mid 80s and they've no trouble understanding what it is that I am, so I am unable to help you via experience ;;
She's not the most computer savvy, but I can try to piece together parts of it and present it to her in my own way. Thanks!
Well, I simplified the information into the 3 categories of gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation into 3 simple little paragraphs and read it to her. Nothing. I sat there for a half hour, slowly explaining definitions of words, giving examples of people she may know of (like Chaz Bono), and she still refused to understand any of it. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter too much that she doesn't understand... lol I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, living life and being happy At least I tried!
Ask her how she would feel if she had to pretend she was a man. She had to do everything men are expected to do and would be treated like a man. Don't mention yourself, you want her to be thinking about how SHE would feel. In theory she would probably dislike it. My granny said "Oh no, I couldn't do that". So I told her that is exactly how I felt. Worth a shotl.
