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My Dearest Friend,

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Glalie, May 21, 2014.

  1. Glalie

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    (I've been in a very closed off mood lately, to the point that I don't want to see any of my friends or family, because I feel so ashamed that I don't have the courage to tell any of them that I'm gay, and that I hate having to hide a part of myself from them. I hope that by writing this letter, I can feel a bit better about my situation, and perhaps muster the courage one day to tell my best friend that I am gay. So, this is a letter to my best friend, a girl that I has been there for me through every bit of crap that has gone on in my life, but I'm afraid won't handle this situation well.)

    My dearest friend,

    You have been my best friend for so long, now, and I would like to think that there's nothing I can't tell you. There are things that I've never told anyone, most of which don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but this... I am afraid to tell you this, because the thought of you not being in my life is so frightening, that I can't possibly bear to think about it. Because of everything we've been through, I think you, more than anyone in my life, deserves to know this. I'm gay.

    Now, I know this is going to be a huge shock to you, especially given that I pursued you for some time when we were teenagers, but you should know that pursuit was selfish. I wanted to prove a lie to myself. I wanted to prove that I could be with a woman, that I could be what everyone thinks I am and wants me to be. That's also why you deserve to know before anyone else. I'm afraid that if I do find the courage to tell the rest of our friends, that they're going to look at you, and wonder if what happened between us "drove" me to be gay. I want you to know that I've always been this way, and I couldn't be happier that time after time you turned me away, because if you hadn't had the courage to tell me no, then we'd both have ended up hurt, and you probably wouldn't be in my life.

    I hope this doesn't upset you the way I fear that it will, because I know you probably think that being gay is a sin, and you might be uncomfortable having me around, now that you know, but I want you to know that I love you more than words can say. It's irresponsible to say this, but I would stay alone for the rest of my life if it meant being able to keep you in my life. You are my only constant, and I hope that we can still be friends when all is said and done.

    (To anyone who reads this, thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest. I hope one day I can tell her, but right now, all I can do is write this letter.)
     
  2. IG88

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    Wow, awesome letter. I hope that your friendship will last a lifetime. And if she's really your friend, then she'll be understanding.

    I'm guessing she's Christian, and the popular translation has it where being gay is not a sin, but gay sex is. It's important to make that distinction. Although, there are other interpretations that bless same sex marriages.
     
  3. mangotree

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    I hope you muster up the courage to send the letter to her at some point because it's lovely :slight_smile:
    Reading between the lines a bit (which can sometimes be way off), it sounds like she might already have suspicions.
     
  4. Glalie

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    She is a Christian. A Baptist to be exact. To be honest, I don't know her personal beliefs, whether she thinks just being gay is a sin or if the sin is in the action. She's never said explicitly what she believes, but given her muted reactions to a few girls who came out in high school, I'd say her views aren't exactly favorable, even if she would tolerate it.

    If she knows, then she's never given me any hint! I wish she had suspicions, because it would make telling her easier.
     
  5. WhiteShadows

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    If she's really as good a friend as you make her out to be, than she will love and accept you for the person you are.

    I hope you send this to her :slight_smile:
     
  6. bingostring

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    its a very touching letter - well done. She will doubtless be honoured to receive it

    my only thought is "I know this is going to be a huge shock to you" … is a bit presumptuous perhaps ? It is possible she has suspected for some time!!

    :thumbsup: