Okay so, I think leaving my ex was the worst idea in my entire life because I've only been lonely and hurting since I've done it, it was for a stupid reason too and I miss him dearly. Just recently I sent him a video of me just explaining how I felt and regret leaving, since the video we've been talking more. He even offered to skype so I could watch him play a game since I was bored. So I think things are getting better, but he says he still wants to be friends for now. What do I do now, things are stable. We aren't together but we are talking and being friends again. What is my next step? I really don't wanna mess something up on accident and throw this all off.
Treat him like you do anybody else...your goal at the moment isn't to get back together it's to MAINTAIN a stable relationship. Getting back together might be on your to do list, I don't know, but right now it shouldn't be the focus because you WILL fuck something up. Why am I being so negative about things? Because at the moment their is an imbalance. YOU are lonely, desperate and sad. You are in a position where watching someone play a video game over skype is a good thing. Unless you are hiding something, your ex seems basically OK. He's not leaping back into your virtual arms or super enthusiastic about things. When one person is putting in loads of effort and the other isn't, things get messy. So for now, treat him like any other friend. Talk to him like you would anybody else. If you get close again, great, but don't sit their pining for him!
Hm I suppose that's true, and yeah I understand. Sometimes you have to be straightforward with things in order for people to understand, I don't see it as negative. Thank you
You also should remember why you left in the first place. Whatever those reasons/problem were, they are likely still there. It sounds like you are lonely and are focusing on him. I've been there, I know it can be really difficult. For me spending less time talking to him seemed to work better for me. Focusing on the problems we had and moving forward in a way that improved my standing if I was the one that screwed up. Or possibly taking stock in the qualities that I knew I did or didn't want if he was the one that screwed it up. The old adage of "there are plenty of fish in the sea" certainly applies here. Spend time with your friends and work towards getting your own life back in balance. If after all of this and you still feel like chasing him down as a friend or BF, then proceed with caution... I might be reading a bit into it a bit more than I should, but I got the impression that you might want to rekindle things with him.. Hang in there....
I just wanna know what to do from this point, no matter what the reasons behind it all before was. Just assume it was a stupid action on my part for something small that didnt need to be done. I dont really want to get into all of that. And I spent months not even saying a word to him and focusing on life and even today I can still say my feelings for him havent changed
Your next step can be to go out with me lol. I've only been in one relationship but I think that 'space' is sometimes needed in order to recover from whatever it is that might have happened. At the same time you should be keep in mind the amount of distance that you are keeping from him. I hope all goes well.
I really appreciate it igoloo! That makes sense. I will respect his space and just be friends for now. I know how it can feel to have someone on your butt 24/7.
I don't want to provide false hope, but I really think that if you are patient and allow this boy to dictate the pace for a while that you have a good chance of getting back together at some point. It's especially telling if he actually said he just wants to be friends "for now." It's hard to say without knowing why you broke up with him in the first place, but I think the most likely scenario is that he's testing you to see if you're in a better place now and able to maintain a stable relationship. After all, who would want to get dumped twice? I'm sure that's a pretty crappy feeling. Just be patient, be the best friend you can be, and remain honest with him without applying much pressure and I think everything will work out the way you want it to. It's a great sign that you were able to open up to him and have him keep the conversation going rather than push you away. Make sure you're not trying to maintain a friendship just because you want it to turn into something more though. I think good things will happen, but being his friend is nothing to sneeze and and is a valuable thing in its own right. Good luck!
