Hello, So I posted earlier about my friend who told me he was gay when he was very very intoxicated / on drugs and asked me if I were gay . I said no . He awkwardly hugged me like 4 times after that . Anyways , since then I have been giving some big hints to him that I'm gay . And we partied again since and we were both flirting bigg time. He asked me for a kiss too and almost went for my mouth lol . I planned to leave with him and sleep at his house but things didn't turn up as planned . Anyyyyways, whenever I see him now alllll he does it talk to me about girls and his ex and this girl he's been having sex with . It's just confusing cause I thought I made it obvious that I was also gay . . And he confessed that he loves one of my girlfriends one night . So confusing . I'm just wondering , is it a good idea to just tell him straight up that I'm gay and clear the air ? Or should I just give up and let him be & keep my secret . He seems a little screwed up to be honest. It's just weird .
How good of a friend is he? If he is a good friend, and seems supportive of you, I would say tell him. After all, a true friend won't really care if you are gay or not. It almost sounds like he is overcompensating, trying to convince you and himself that he isn't gay. I understand that it may seem weird now, and it probably is for the both of you. I went through the same thing with my friends when I came out as gay. It was especially awkward for my best friend. Since he was a guy it was a really big change for him. I just gave him space, and let him process the news. If you decide to tell your friend, just remember that things might be a little uncomfortable, even awkward. But try to work through it. Hoping for the best. Keep us informed.
Most likely he's struggling with himself. What he told you while intoxicated was probably the truth.. and he probably is having a "vulnerability hangover" because he wasn't really ready to put that out there and now he feels bad about it. I'd proceed very cautiously. Telling him you're gay, if he isn't comfortable with himself, might not have the desired response. I'd suggest that perhaps the best thing you can do is be there for him and make it clear that you have no problem with gay people, and give him time.
We have only been friends for about a month now to be honest . But he's a really cool guy and seems really nice so far .. I was thinking that too , overcompensating . He's also really nice to me tho and I'm worried I will fall for him and it will end up a disaster ..
