First off, this is going to sound like one of those "I like my straight bestfriend" posts, but I'll explain everything. First off, my best friend is straight, knows I'm bi and supports it all. We're extremely close, and we're very open with saying we love each other as friends. Today when I got home from school I went into my room and saw he left a graduation party invite (He has a key to my house) and inside he wrote a letter describing our friendship, how long we've been friends, how I'm the closest thing he has to true family, and that he wrote in a letter because he would get teary eyed if he told me in person. Reading all of that put years to my eyes and put into more perspective how much I care about him and his friendship.Later my family and I went to his graduation and then I went to his graduation party with him after. At around midnight when most of the guest were leaving, we were just outside talking, and then he told me that if it wasn't for me being there for him he would probably be in alot of bad situations and wouldn't have graduated, how he quit smoking and drinking because of me, then finished it off with a "I love you man" and a hug. After everything I started to feel warm and weird in my stomach,then I realized the truth. I was developing feelings for this guy. After realizing it, I started to feel sick in my stomach. All these things started to pop in my head, like how good looking he was, how great his smile was, and it made me feel sick, because this guy has been my best friend for years and I've never had thoughts like that about him, a guy whose been like an older brother to me.I realize how lucky I am to have a friendship the way we have. I don't want to come up with a plan to turn him bi, or try anything with him. I respect him way too much. Has anyone experienced the same thing? Advice would seriously help, these feelings are REALLY confusing :/
I had a slightly similar experience in my early 20s, but I think the differences will make it unviable as advice. Worth a try. My best friend and I used to do every thing together and also had the whole "love ya man" thing happening. Of course, I secretly had a crush on him and found him very sexy, and that's why I chose him as the first person to come out to. Needless to say, he didn't take it very well - without asking, he told his parents and his girlfriend about my "news" and they all gave me a bit of a bible bashing. It was a very strange time, now that I think about it... My crush miraculously disappeared after that Over a decade on, we still see catch up about once or twice a year, so I guess you could say we're still friends. (I think the irregularity is more from the fact that we live in different cities and he has a wife and 5 kids now). So... what can you learn from this? Maybe if you try to focus on your friend's faults for a little while (only internally of course), maybe that'll help you turn off him. That's the best info I can give, sorry. Good luck and peace be with you mate
I know a thing or two about crushing on a friend who becomes family or kinda older brother. You gotta create some distance and also some distraction. There might be a bit of confusion on his end at the beginning of the change, but the most important thing is to protect your friendship from any harm.
