1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Does anyone else know this feeling?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Fighting2SaveU, May 23, 2014.

  1. Fighting2SaveU

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Does anyone else know what it feels like to wake up day to day, just to be reminded of all the same pain? Does anyone else get excited to see that special person day after day, call after call, text after text, just to leave crying or upset almost every time...

    Does anyone else ever get that feeling like you were never once a priority in their eyes...

    I'm tired... Just tired... I'm tired of all the same routines, all the same faces, all the same things going on around me. For once in my life, I would love for him to buy me a cheap pair of earrings from claires, or buy me a cute shirt, anything... But nothing... Yet he has the nerve to spend $300 on a necklace on some girl that he only dated for 2 weeks, and he has the nerve to buy himself Armani Cologne for $100, when he still owes me $2,300 and I am now jobless without food or fuel..

    Do you ever just feel used like that? Do you ever just wish you could make it all go away....

    Do you ever wish that through all the happy times, you could go back in time and tell yourself to never speak to this person that you are now madly in love with...

    heh... I just want to know for once in my life, what it feels like to be loved by someone as much as I love them... :cry:
     
  2. awesomekid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2014
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    After reading your post, you brought me back memories. I let my friend borrow money as well and I cannot lie, I told him I didn't want it back and I meant it. It made me happy and seeing him happy made me happy. But I'm tired now too. I'm tired of waiting, of feeling empty and blue and of not feeling appreciated. But you know what, we have to move in. We cannot settle down for less than what we deserve. We are waiting for them to change and to realize our worth, but we have to realize our own worth and move on. I know it's hard because I'm going through it now, but we both know we don't want to let go to something felt so right. We cannot waste ant more time for them to change. Wish you the best and I wish for all of your pain to go away my friend. I know exactly what you are going through. Take care of yourself first
     
  3. kyrtap

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2014
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I read your post on my phone right before I was done with work and I rushed home to reply to it. I find myself in such similar situation. I have a friend whom I'm madly in love with (working on getting over that as he's unfortunately straight), I lend him money when he was struggling, I take him out to expensive dinners, concerts, shopping. I'm always there for him when he's depressed or stressed out, or when he has a fight or breaks up with his girlfriend (they broke up like 4 times now). I left my house in the middle of the night, walked for 40 mins in freezing rain to see him for 15 mins as he was feeling really down. I never turned him away, yet he often leaves me to deal with shit alone. He recently got his tax refund back, yet instead of paying me back the money he owes me, he said he will use it to get his tattoo finished, well he blew that on something else and came asking me for money for that tattoo yet again, "an early birthday present" he called it. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy in many ways, I love spending time with him. We just recently had a great day together, it was just perfect, but then at the end he said he was going to his girlfriends house for the night as its closer then his place, the same girlfriend, who he said bores him, is so different from him, wants totally different things, doesn't understand him, just three days earlier. That really upset me. I often wonder if I would have been better off never meeting him. I feel used, and alone and depressed when I see him with his girlfriend, knowing no matter what I do he will never look at me like that, I realize he's straight, and I totally respect that, but seeing him with a girl who's totally wrong for him, and having him run to me when she doesn't give him love and compassion he craves, is just messed up. Awesomekid is totally right. Enough is enough, we deserve better, we deserve to be loved just as much as we love, it has been long enough, hard as it is we have to move on. I also wish you the best, you should not be treated like that, let go and find your happiness.
     
  4. awesomekid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2014
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    How are you doing? Hope all is well