I came out last year and I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and all that. However, I still don't feel that I'm making that much progress regarding relationships and gay friends. I briefly joined a choir, but I didn't really like it. I've tried online dating, but haven't had much success. I briefly had a relationship with a guy that way, but it ended on a sour note. I'm not good at team sports, so gay sports clubs are mostly ruled out. There are some gay societies that interest me, but they're all in London. Most of the gays I have met have snubbed me for one reason or another. There were also some where we just couldn't connect. I work a lot, so don't have much time for myself, and many of my straight friends have been moving away for jobs. I'm going to be blunt and say that I'm now despairing. I honestly feel like I'm never going to be able to meet people, and that I'll end up single and friendless forever. Please, can anyone tell me what you've done if you were in a situation like this, and what you did to remedy it successfully.
With the relationships that didn't work out, what were the reasons? Was it personality clashes, lack of personality, quirks, body type? I'm sure that there are things we can all work on...improve some areas, and explore new ones to make ourselves a better/more interesting person. Not that I'm saying that you have to change to please another person, but if you aren't the person the person you're looking for is looking for, then you have room for improvement. So the choir didn't work. Are you interested in other areas of music, like instrumental things? Or is there another hobby that you would prefer?
In my experience, I've never been able to find friends or romance when I've actually gone out looking for them. It's always happened unexpectedly as I was just going about my business. My suggestion is to use this time when you have few commitments to others and lots of free time to work on yourself. A gym membership is never a bad idea, and I've heard of many people making friends at their gyms/sports clubs. Music groups is a good idea too; although the choir you joined didn't work out, like someone else mentioned maybe there's another kind of music group you'd be interested in. Or maybe you could give the choir another shot; is it possibly you weren't involved long enough to really get to know any of the other members? You could also check your local library for book or cinema clubs if you're into reading or movies. If there's a YMCA local to you they often have information on a lot of local social events in which you could participate. And then there's volunteer activities; I know many people who've made really great friends with people they've met while volunteering. There are places like animal shelters/rescues, rescue missions, soup kitchens, food/clothing drives, and tons of other places where you could donate your time and energy and meet really nice, good, and possibly like-minded people with whom you could make friends. Like I said, I was never successful when I went out specifically looking to meet people. It seems like when that's your main goal, there's this pressure you unknowingly put on yourself and on others, and your social interactions will suffer for it because you might come off as desperate or just not quite yourself. When you're out doing activities you enjoy and begin to social with others enjoying those same things, the interactions are much more natural and casual and it's so much easier to be yourself and get to know other people without desperation or pressure. Just relax and focus on things you like to do, work on yourself, and let meeting people happen as a result. Don't make meeting people your top priority because that'll make it harder. I hope this helps. Good luck!
