I keep ignoring my crush, don't know how to make it better. My routine life is ruined

I don't know how to handle this anymore. Really need help.

A few months ago I realized that I have fallen for this girl. I barely know her but we work in the same place so sometimes we meet. She is kind of a friend of friend, so she knows me but we hardly speak. She is a femme and a bit shy. Though she didn't tell me directly, I managed to know that she is a lesbian and seems to be out to everyone. I am in closet but there is an incident that make her suspect that I am gay.

Since the incident she seems to be much nicer to me, she would say hello when we met, exchange a sort of eye contact that makes me really curious about her feeling. I mean, I can never be sure anyway if she really likes me, or just flirts with me for fun since she knows I like girl. Or probably she is just being friendly.

Anyway there was this one day where I met her near our work place and I waved at her but she ignored me completely (though she saw me). I know she might be tired or somewhat but can't stop the thought that I might creep her out.

After that day, whenever I meet her I will get super nervous and so I keep avoiding her .Now when we meet she would just walk pass me like I don't exist. :icon_sad:
The wierd thing is that it makes me crush on her even harder. I become so obsessed with her and when I see her around my heart beat like hell.

This hurts so much and it really ruins my working mode and social life. My job is going really well now and I don't want it to be disrupted with this lovesickness.

I don't really know what to do. Half of me feels that she is probably not into me anyway and I should just keep ignoring her and move on, though the other half tells me to try to be more friendly with her and we could either end up being friend or even a lover. But how do I do, I mean can't really control myself when she is around :bang:

 

Re: I keep ignoring my crush, don't know how to make it better. My routine life is ru

Hmm... I am not sure incident is the right word but basically we met at the place where straight people don't go. When she saw me she looked at me in the eye, like trying to tell me that she knows what I am. I didn't admit to her right away though.

It was me though that keep avoiding her first, I mean after being ignored once I got way too anxious and didn't respond to her eye contacts anymore. Then after a while she stop doing it and act like a stranger.

I think you are right, she is not really going out of her way. Probably she was just try to be friendly, but since I didn't do the same, she simply stop.

anymore thoughts?

 

Re: I keep ignoring my crush, don't know how to make it better. My routine life is ru

Hey thanks for the answers. I think the problem is that I keep avoiding her whenever we meet. how do I deal with this? Has anyone experienced this and managed to calm yourself down?
I don't really know what is wrong with me, and I have been in relationships before and never experience this. Whenever she is around I often feel like whatever I do will creep her out, then I would avoid looking, talking or even walking pass her.

I mean I don't even hope for being together with her, it was just much nicer earlier when I wasn't that into her and could have a small talk and eye contact with her :bang: