Help - invasion of privacy and snooping by family member

Yeah, stop letting this sibling near your stuff...take the keys, change your locks and never let them back into your house.

Sounds extreme, but frankly if someone is willing to go through your possessions, then have some misguided idea that they have a right to confront you about what they find, they deserve every bad thing that comes to them.

 

In my experience, those who feel the need to snoop through others things do so because they themselves are hiding things. Those who are paranoid that others are keeping secrets feel that way because they themselves are keeping secrets.

Clearly, your sibling is not trustworthy. I'm sure they were expecting to find something "juicier" than what has been found, so you should consider it a small victory that they were probably disappointed with their findings. Be that as it may though, to find the backup disc of your hard-drive and go through the trouble of sifting through the contents to find files "worthy" of snooping is beyond excessive. It's immature, disrespectful, insulting, and indicative of some deep personal issues for which your sibling should seek some professional help. You entrusted this person with access to your home while you were away, and they abused and exploited your trust to invade your privacy and access information and correspondence that you probably keep hidden because they're meant for your eyes only.

If I were in your shoes, I would be irate. Absolutely nothing gives someone the right to do what your sibling did. Invasion of privacy like that--and then to have the audacity to confront you about what they discovered while snooping through your home while you were away on vacation is disgusting--would kill any semblance of trust I had in such a person. They would no longer be invited or welcome into my home, whether I was present or not. If I needed or wanted to see this person, we would meet out in public, never in my own personal, private space.

I'm very sorry to hear this has happened to you. I hope you are able to resolve this issue so it doesn't happen again in the future.

 

I meant that your sibling clearly has some issue or issues for which they should seek professional help. But I'm a big advocate of counseling for ALL. I think it's quite helpful and a healthy choice for anybody, whether it's for legitimate problems or just to vent to an unbiased third party. So I'm glad that you speak to someone too; it's a shame that your sibling invading your privacy and betraying your trust like this repeatedly over the years was one of the reasons why you decided to seek counseling. Nobody deserves that.

 

I work in I.T. which gives me access to everyone in my company's email. My job is to protect it from harm, intruders and unauthorized access. It wouldn't take more than a moment or two to break that trust, but my lack of interest and my moral compass keep me from doing so. They trust me to keep secrets, secrets.

This, for me, would come down to a serious trust issue for me. I've long said to roomies, if you go snooping and you find something that bothers you, it is your own damn fault for looking. You've trusted this person repeatedly, and it turns out you can't and shouldn't do so. They cannot be trusted with something so basic as keeping your belongings safe and to have enough moral discipline to not go snooping. Sure, it is tempting at times. Human nature makes us curious. But there is a line this person shouldn't cross.

I wouldn't allow them in your house alone ever again. Despite logisitics. Find someone else to water your plants, feed your cat or whatever else you need them to do. Find someone else to do it.

You deserve to have space that is your own, protected from people who want to go through all of you belongings looking for "dirt" or whatnot.