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I need to stop getting into long distance relationships... help me please

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MtnFr3sh, May 27, 2014.

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  1. MtnFr3sh

    MtnFr3sh
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    I don't know how to start one of these... I have never broken up with a guy before. My last relationship ended on terms of he needed to actually talk with real people more, having panic attacks and worrying about stuff. So he kind of broke up with me.

    Now, I don't know what to do, and I'm probably going to feel terrible about this later for even considering this. He's 20, and in the US navy currently stationed somewhere in the middle east. I like him, he's really sweet and caring. But, I an't really see us actually going anywhere. Often times, in long distance relationships, I feel more lonely than I do when I'm actually alone. We met on facebook (I know I know...) we were both members of the same group, which involved yaoi... We started talking and kind of hit it off. But, I don't know. I can't really see us going anywhere. He wants to try to get a vacation in October to come and meet me. He's a nice person which is one of the reasons I feel terrible about this. Another is because he's in the military, not stationed here in america, but overseas. And you always hear about those relationships that go to shit because some wife will cheat on her husband when he's gone fighting. I think that's what's making me feel even more shitty about this. I still want to talk to him and be friends but I don't know what to do. Another thing is, well... he has a video of me... It's on a cloud storage service where I can delete it but I don't know if he saved it. It's not like I'm scared he'll get pissed and share it with people or something, I don't believe he would do that because he's really sweet. But if he does I an just rat on him to the military because legally, I'm underage, I would NEVER do that unless something like that happened because I know something like that ruins lives... I need to just get it through my thick damn skull that I'm an idiot for believing that a long distance relationship is a good idea, especially since I've never even kissed another boy before...

    I'm just a giant :***: idiot and I feel like a bit of a douche... Can somebody please help me?
     
    #1 MtnFr3sh, May 27, 2014
  2. BryanM

    BryanM
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    I mean, long distance relationships definitely are not impossible, but it may be best to end this particular one because of the extreme distance. You could just tell him that you need to have an important talk with him, and say that you want him as a good friend, and don't want to try to ruin things with a relationship. Say that you like him, but know that it would make sense just to end things. And for the sake if both of you, I would suggest to him to delete said video.

    You're definitely not a douche, either. You just sound like a really sweet guy who just happens to get attached to people easily (which I have been given that exact same title, so I know how you feel). The next time you see a cute guy that you may like in real life, find a reason to talk to him, even if it's small talk. Try to find a topic that interests both of you. And then after you're done with the conversation, give him either your phone number, Facebook, some way he can contact you so you can talk to him again. Try to become really good friends with them, first, before you try to get any feelings for them (that may be difficult, I know, but just try). When you have to tell then about your feelings, if they want a relationship with you, perfect. If they're either straight or not interested, that's okay too, because you found a good friend.

    One place you could try going to meet new people could be pridefest, which are the LGBT pride festivals that will be in June all across the nation. It might be a bit difficult finding someone your age (especially if you don't have a driver's license), but even if you don't, it should still be a fun time.

    I hope this helped. :slight_smile: Just remember that you are NOT a douche, you actually sound like a sweet guy that other guys would like to be with. So keep your head up.
     
    #2 BryanM, May 27, 2014
  3. resu

    resu
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    You're 16, so you likely are still very dependent on your parents. Why do you even want to be in a long-distance relationship? I believe you're doing it to fill a void. I agree that you should try to find someone local, someone you can get to know for real. You learn so much just from body language and expressions that are virtually impossible to detect via messages, even Skype.

    Also, be very careful about sending videos. Once something is on the internet, it's very hard or impossible to remove it.
     
    #3 resu, May 28, 2014
  4. MtnFr3sh

    MtnFr3sh
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    Thanks BryanM, that helps, it really does. And resu, thanks, and yeah, I know that I shouldn't have gotten into it, that's why I was asking for help. And I know I should have been a bit more careful about the video... I'm stupid for that and I know
     
    #4 MtnFr3sh, May 28, 2014
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