Today has been absolutely terrible. Let me start off with a bit of background info: My ex girlfriend and I had been dating for the last three months. This was the first relationship either of us has ever had. I had been crushing on her pretty bad for a long time whereas she had only recently released she liked me back. Things were amazing for a while. However last week I broke it off for a number of reasons. Firstly, I had to make all the first moves. I'm not talking just the big things like arranging dates but also little things like holding hands and hugging. She would only do something after I did it several times first. Two, she took me for granted. I was expected to always follow her around, always take her side in an argument, always help her with her work (often she just mucked around for the first half of a lesson then copied my answers later) etc etc. This did not go both ways at all. I had a pretty rough time around the beginning of our relationship - panic attacks, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and the like. Whenever I tried to bring this up with her her response was basically 'Just relax and cheer up' (if you've ever had a panic attack you'll know how impossible that is. Three, she ignored me, unless I refused to help her with something in which case she got really mad and blamed it all on me. She often chose to read right next to me instead of talking to me. I got to the point where whenever I was with her I felt like I was alone. This is the strongest I've ever felt for someone but it was pretty clear that no good was going to come of this relationship. So I decided that if no one else was going to care about me and do what's best for me then I should do it for myself. Next day I was single. When I broke up with her she was pretty apathetic. But then she showed up for the first time since then at school today fuming. She ended up doing the whole 'Tell Ellie I said this' thing through a friend even though I was sitting only two metres in front of her. All our friends either don't care or are on her side. I wish I could talk to her but she wouldn't listen to a word I say and blame it all on me. It hurts even more because I still care about her so much and she hates me. I don't know what to do.
Golly, you've been through a lot, but trust me when I say this: It will get better. This is coming from someone who was that terrible in a relationship. She will get to the point where she no longer wants to gossip and hurt you anymore. There's really not much you can do to change her attitude. She has to do that herself. But remember, you broke off the relationship for a very good reason. And that was because you needed to do what was good for your mental health which is very important. Just hang in there. I promise that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. : ]
Ugh. She sounds like she doesn't really know how to act like a decent human post-breakup. I'm sorry she's being a tool. I think it's really awesome that you were able to see early on that things were not going to go far and had the balls to break it off. 3 months is a long time, but had you dated for a year it would have just gotten worse. Maybe try getting your friends one on one and tell them how you're feeling. Don't try to shift blame or make them take sides, just let them know that you would love some support through this and that whatever exaggerations she's spreading about you are hurtful to you. I hope you find some decent friends amongst the group willing to look past her pettiness.
