What Mistakes do People Make in New Relationships?

This is only my personal opinion and certainly not a judgement of others, but I think having sex too soon is a mistake.

 

If It's early early on in the relationship:
- Being too trusting and sharing too much information (Especially if you've just been on a few dates)
- Saying "I love you" too early, I feel sex too early is the same thing (although whatever floats your boat)
- Being too clingy
- being way too jealous (And I mean in the extent you don't let your partner have any friends)

 

This ^
God that was me in the past boy was I clingy and jealous my girlfriends got bored with me because of it :icon_sad:

I want to add another thing sometime I learned One thing is never having an opinion on anything and always agreeing to what your girlfriend or boyfriend says it can bore a person .
I did this because I didn't want the girls I was in a relationship to dislike me because I disagreed with them on things

 

^^ This.

I'd have to say having sex too early would be the biggest one, closely followed by jealousy.

 

Moving too fast and dropping friends/hobbies to spend 24/7 with them.

 

THIS. Thank you. I feel like in order to love someone else, first you need to love yourself and learn the positives of being single and alone. Most people don't want to date someone who's dating to feel less 'lonely' or to get over something depressing (Mainly a former heartbreak). It makes the other person feel like a therapist more than an equal.

 

Putting on a show for the new person rather than being yourself. There is a time to impress and a time to be honest. Too often we put up a good front and aren't who we are the other 99% of the time. And people end up being surprised that you aren't the person they thought they had met...

 

I think being too eager to be in a relationship. I remember when I was single so many guys wanted so desperately to be in a relationship that it became really difficult to tell if people were actually into you or just into the idea of being with someone. Having the whole, yes I believe you love me but also believe it may be nothing personal, conversation was awful. In my opinion, the only way you really know someone has fallen for you is when someone who wasn't looking finds you.

 

A few things that I would not do again if I got into another relationship are:

1) I changed who I was because I wanted my husband to like me - I started dressing how he wanted me to, I lost my own interests and basically stopped growing. I've always had a huge interest in the lbgt community and I completely lost that because he didn't approve. I'm slowly started to find myself again.

2) Had sex too early. For myself, I wanted to wait for at least 6 months to have sex in a relationship, but I would always let the butterflies get to my head and cloud my judgement. With my husband, I could only wait 2 weeks! I was so disappointed in myself.

3) I stopped talking to everyone. I did this because I would assume it's normal to want to spend every waking moment with your SO. If I ever get into another relationship I would try my best to have a better balance with my SO and the other aspects of my life.

 

Lying.

 

Oh, god... that's ME.

I've never dated before, and I'm extremely insecure about it, even though I'm not interested in dating before I hit my 20's. It may be possible for me to love my independence more, but I know I'll never be able to love myself 100%.

 

Lots of these are big ones, but I think the one I see most often is having a ton of expectations of how things "are going to be"
Like, you meet someone and you hit it off a little and then all of a sudden you're thinking that they're going to be this perfect person for you...but you don't really know them and you don't know how it would be to be around them.

 

This 1000x.

 

I don't think having low self-esteem is a total deal breaker (Myself included) for anyone, I just think it depends on how bad it gets and if you're looking for a person to fix that wound.

A good example is a girl messaged me on a dating site and the second message was her spilling out her whole life story of how she was abused and how she felt she would never find a relationship. It turned me off instantly. I mean I'm very sympathetic toward others who have suffered, but when that's like a first date conversation I would feel like the relationship would turn unhealthy fast. Like she would have wanted me just to say she has a relationship and for me to fix her life problems, which is a lot of stressful baggage for the other person so early on in the relationship.

That I have problems with, but I bet you would be fine haha

 

the open relationship which is really something i dont understand and not accepting your friends and trying to get you away from them
not accepting your life and trying to change everything to his way
they really need to know that before this relationship started there was a life and they need to accept that life rather than trying to change it to their life
otherwise i agree with everything you guys said having sex too early is the the 1# mistake people are doing these days all they care about is sex :icon_sad:

for example : (its out of the topic and a very long example i think)
i installed this gay dating app which everyone says is number one in dating i went on created a profile and next day all i find is messages from guys talking about their di**s and asking me if i have hair on my chest and where i live cause they are horny !:eek:
i searched everywhere in the app to find that everyone is with half naked pics and asking for a hook up fast
well i found this one guy but he told to remove the app thank god i did ( the guy is wired he gave me his number but the next thing i know he told me to get lost pretending he dont know me)
i think its the area since the app uses gps but anyway i think its really obvious that most people are only asking for sex not romantic relationships
they either pretend they want a relationship and get it
or they are loud about it saying they are horny and want you now

 

I'll throw a wrench in the works just for the sake of discussion. I've been with my partner for 16 years. It gets better every day. ...and we slept with each other the night we met.

I guess all I'm saying is be honest, genuine and kind... and maybe following other people's rules might not always be the most helpful thing...

No criticism of the thread intended. I think it's a great topic.

Carry on!

 

Biggest mistake in new relationships is emotionally moving too fast. Wait until the first time that person lets you down like blowing you off, saying something mean, ignoring you and generally behaving a little more selfishly than when you were in that "omg i'm in love" phase. Usually it's a thousand little cuts that make the heart bleed. Don't project your expectations onto them you will be disappointed every time. Try to have fun and participate in each others lives and interests, that's how you will get to know the real person.

Just slow down and enjoy the company.