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the asnwer is simple?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kirrycarcar, May 29, 2014.

  1. kirrycarcar

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Ever since I can remember, my attraction for the same sex has been there as well as the opposite sex. I has a horrible relationship...then I was left going with ladies and men.
    I married a man at 19...

    We are almost four years married and i feel bad because I no longer feel anything for him. I was told I rushed the wedding and now I am starting to think I should have taken everyones advice and not gotten married. I feel horrible all the time.
    About a year ago I met this girl and I immediatley became curious about her. we went to eat...had a few drinks...one thing lead to another and (she knew i was married...and she was engaged)... *gasp
    knowing that about each other didnt stop our sexual advances towards each other. The alcohol didnt help either. But at her peak ...i stop and ask her to take me home. I thought that She was justa fling and I wouldnt make anything of it. I dont like girls...its just curiosity right?
    An old friend from highschool has begun to intrigue me...im willing to tell her im married and leave my home because i want to be with her but am scared because i really like her but never have we talked other than just as friends....what do i do?!
     
  2. WearyWanderer

    Regular Member

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    If you don't love him anymore, then you need to tell him. Not only will your future be unhappy if you stay with him, but so will his, because he'll be in a marriage without love. Just break it down to him and leave him, although gently. He's sure to be hurt, but trust me, it's the best thing for the both of you.

    As for this friend of yours, if you have feelings for her, then I'd suggest hanging out with her more and seeing if she could possibly return your feelings. Maybe she could, maybe she couldn't. Either way, you do have a friend, and that's a special thing to have. :slight_smile:
     
  3. DangerAlex

    Full Member

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    I agree, I think you should have a nice long talk with you husband. Explain to him what you've explained to us. Tell him you had no reservations about the wedding at the time because you were totally in love with him, but over time you've noticed your feelings changing and new feelings developing and you're very unsure of yourself right now and what you should do. Maybe even ask him to help you figure it out? Lay everything out on the table and let him feel like he's part of the solution instead of just part of the problem. I'm sure he's not going to ask you to stay with him if you've fallen out of love with him, and I feel like if you're coming to him for help and wanting his advice that will make the news easier to take.

    Just a thought. Or you could always take the tell-it-like-it-is approach... Tell him you don't love him anymore, that you don't want to hurt him but feel like you'd both be happier if you were to end your relationship, and explain to him the feelings your having toward women.

    Keep in mind something like this is never easy, but you're definitely not the first person to have to do it, and as hard as it is, you'll both be happier for it in the end.

    Good luck. I wish you all the best.