I haven't come out yet, in case you're wondering. But when I do, I want to know how I can meet other lesbians and start dating one. I mean, I don't fit the stereotypes for a lesbian. I'm pretty feminine and girly, so I can understand why people would think I am straight. I wouldn't really care about them being "Femme" or "Butch" (please excuse me if these are offensive terms, I'm learning about the lesbian community still), I just want to at least date a girl. Besides, there are other issues. For example, my age. I can't go to a gay bar or club or join an online dating site. Also, there's this inside joke where my sister said we were married on Facebook and we pretend we're married (doesn't know I'm a lesbian) and my bro said, "Gay marriage is not going to be legal in Kansas for a long time." I also live in the same city as the Westboro fuckers. (Yes, that is what I like to call them.) I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to date one without being discriminated against or told I'm going to hell. In fact, there's still the issue of coming out alone. I'm not really sure what to do. :help:
No matter what you do there will always be THOSE people who are like "All faggots are going to hell" and junk. That's a fact of life. Just don't let them bother you. Their words mean nothing. And, believe it or not, there are A LOT more bi and lesbian people out there than you know. It would probably do you good to go out and mingle with some people. Well, girls, obviously. It won't be as easy as trying to find a boyfriend, I know. But with time I'm 100% positive that you'll find a girl that is right for you. Anyhoo, best of luck to ya!
There's really no right or wrong way to go out and find potential significant others at your age. Honestly, the only thing you can really do is come out. Sure, gay marriage might not be legal for a while, but that doesn't mean gay couples are completely banned. If you come out and make it known that you're a lesbian, then you'll probably end up finding somebody, or meeting girls through friends. I honestly couldn't find a girlfriend until I was really really out of the closet, and was openly talking to my friends about my sexuality. That was when they finally mentioned they knew a lesbian who had a crush on me. Still, it took me a good five/six months after coming out to my parents before I found a girl, so these things can take some time. A girl might start showing interest in you once you do come out though, just because she'll know for sure that she has a chance with you sexuality-wise (I feel like LGBT people are more tentative about their crushes, considering we don't want to fall for someone who's straight and experience that pain). As for Westboro; don't worry about them. Everybody hates Westboro. It's a fact. Other than them, it's rare that homophobes will say anything to your face. If you have a girlfriend and act respectful (meaning no intense make-out sessions in public and such), chances are they won't even be able to tell if you're a couple or not.
I love your icon! Hetalia! Come out to people you know will accept you. You might find that some of your friends are lesbians or know lesbians they could introduce you to.
I guess that's true. I'll probably just ignore it. As for the mingling, that's gonna be hard since I'm pretty shy. Oh well. I'll probably be a lot more gittery and childish when I come out to everyone as a lesbian. I'll probably tell my sister and my mom when I'm fourteen, but it's gonna be a little bit before I can come out. I'm banging on the closet door right now, I guess. (That's gonna be my new "Out Status.") And I probably won't have make out sessions in public considering how shy I am. Though when I do make out with a girl somewhere private, it's going to be :***: awesome! Yay! A Hetalian! I doubt that I have friends who are lesbians. They both say they're okay with LGBT people, but they would never be lesbians, so they're both straight. *sigh* Thanks for the advice! Virtual group hug, everybody! (&&&)
Oh Kansas! We will forever be left behind the modern world because of our stupid politics. I live about twenty minutes from you, so I'm all too familiar with the WBC, unfortunately. They picketed my high school graduation last week. :rolle: Anyway - As others have said, it may be difficult to find girls to date at your age for sure, and maybe even later depending on where you live in Topeka. There are plenty over here in Lawrence though! But the easiest way to meet LGBT people I've found is to just go out. Hang out at coffee shops, walk around downtown, walk around downtown Lawrence. When you get a job and a car it'll be easier too. As you get older, you'll build a social network that (most likely) extends beyond the borders of Topeka, and you'll meet more and more people. Be patient and wait to grow up, ignore the WBC and the haters, and just do what makes you happy until you find someone to share it with. How accepting are your parents?
If you aren't ready to come out, dating probably isn't a great idea yet. I mean, dating another girl behind your parent's back and keeping that relationship a secret from everybody? It would be tricky. If you're ready to come out, that'll be a lot easier. Once you're openly lesbian, eligible girls will come to you. I've started coming out at school and people who I'd have never thought as LGBTQ+ individuals have come out to me, too. Besides, kids our age don't really need to date. I understand feeling lonely, though. (And like TJ said, Lawrence is GREAT. My mom grew up there and I visit my grandfather there sometimes. It's the little patch of blue heaven in a closed-minded red state. You can definitely meet people there, but I don't know what your odds would be at this age.)
