Hey guys. I've tried asking a few friends about this, and none of them seem to be of any help. So I am kinda hoping y'all can give me a hand. So I've been seeing this girl. She's really cool and cute and we like the same things and she's really funny and just amazing all around. However, we aren't official yet. We don't go to the same school, but the towns are close just a few miles away. We met because her cousin goes to my school and due to our friends being similar we ended up eating lunch at the same table everyday, so I guess you could call us friends. But yeah, she's the one who introduced us through Facebook last summer. So anyways, this amazing girl and I have been hanging out every weekend for a few months now, we watch anime and do nerdy junk like that. However it's become much more romantic an we cuddle and kiss, like a regular couple. But today I was talking to her cousin at school and she informed me that our behavior is "sketchy." The girl I'm seeing isn't out to anyone but her younger brother, a couple friends and her cousin. He cousin goes on to tell me that if we hang out again, she's going to out her to her father, whom I don't know very well, so I have no idea how hell react. I've talked to this girl about coming out before, and I know she isn't ready to talk to her dad about it. So I tried explaining that to he cousin, but she just went on about how it's not right that we see each other in "secret." So I guess what I need advice on is what do I do? I've been thinking about it all day and I've boiled it down to 2 options. Option 1: I get this girl out of my life for her own good. I don't want to be the reason she gets outed. It's not fair and she should get to tell whoever she wants on her own terms. But.. there's nothing I can do to keep her cousin from saying something to this girl's dad. I'm not a fan of option 1. Option 2: We go out again and her cousin outs her and we go from there. Although that seems rather risky, due to not know what her father will do.. Bit yeah besides that, I really hav no idea what to do guys. Please help me. I really want to keep her in my life, but I don't want to pressure her into coming out before she's ready. I'm open to any and all suggestions, or comments. Lemme know if I can answer any questions that might help you guys come to some sort of solution. Just thanks for reading and stuff.
Have you tried telling her about this situation? To be honest, it affects her a little more than it affects you (not that it doesn't affect you, but it's her coming out). I personally think that you should leave the decision up to her. If she wants to stay with you, then so be it. Stick close with her and support here through this hard time. If she isn't ready, or wants to stop seeing you, then back off. Or, possibly a third option, maybe she could talk with her cousin. She might listen to reason more from her own family.
That's a pretty crappy position to be in. I think there's a decent chance the cousin wouldn't follow through with telling her dad, but that's not really a risk you can take. Don't do anything without talking to your girlfriend first. Let her know exactly what her cousin told you and let her figure out how to approach this. Please don't break up with her to avoid this because it could easily be more painful for her to lose you than it would be for her to be outed, even force. If you really care about this girl and love spending time with her don't let that get away unless that's the absolute last option available. Who knows how she'll respond. Maybe she'll be able to talk some sense into her cousin. Maybe she'll decide she's not ready to come out and will want to cool things down with you. Maybe she'll decide to come out on her own terms which would preserve and even strengthen your relationship. Or maybe she'll call her cousin's bluff, stay with you, and decide to deal with whatever happens if her dad finds out. It's very noble that you're looking at this from your girlfriend's perspective even though you're in a painful position yourself, but try not to panic or make assumptions on how this will play out. Just calmly discuss this with your girlfriend, make sure she knows how much she means to you, and do whatever you can to support her. I'm sure it's a scary prospect to face but you can get through it together. Good luck!
