I love my girlfriend, and for the most part we have a wonderful sex life. There is a bit of incompatibility though in the length of time it takes for us to orgasm. I tend to come much quicker and more frequently than she does. As a result, it is quite a commitment to have sex with her and get the job done. We're looking at 1-2 hours. Because lesbian sex is mostly a "do-me-and-I'll-do-you" scenario (which is also another issue for me, but that's really a separate topic) it can be difficult. My health is such that after orgasm, I am lightheaded, nauseous, exhausted, and really not in the mood or even able to spend an additional 1-2 hours getting her off. But if I do her first, it takes her so long, I'm no longer aroused by the time she comes, am sticky, exhausted and just want to sleep. Which is frustrating. Sometimes, if she's randy and I'm not particularly in the mood, she'll do me. She's in and out in 10 minutes, job done, and I feel like an ass if I don't reciprocate, even though I didn't want to do it in the first place, and then I get a little resentful. I try really hard not to make her feel bad about it. It's not like it's her fault or anything like that. It' just the way her body is and that' okay. It's just frustrating for both of us. We've talked about it a lot, but there's really nothing to be done I guess. Thoughts?
I would talk with her about it even if it is a bit embarrassing. With guys it can be a bit of the same. I tend to be the faster one depending on the situation. So I tend to take care of my partner first. You might try having a you night and then a her night... where you take care of each other but the focus is on one of you rather than trying to both get off when you are so out of sync...
