So, last year around this time I came out to my aunt, who is the only member of my family that knows I'm gay. To my surprise, she was very supportive...at first...Now whenever I talk to her she keeps insisting that I'm not really gay, that it's a choice I made, I can't really know for sure that I'm gay because I've never been with a woman, and a bunch of other odd ball theories. I keep trying to explain to her that it wasn't a choice and that I am what I am, but I can never put what I want to say into words. Anyone have any advice on what I should say to her the next time this conversation comes up (because it will!!!)?
I can't really know for sure that I'm gay because I've never been with a woman Start with this one. This comment is commonly made and is ENTIRELY irrelevant. She would be closer to the mark if she said 'because you've never been with a MAN', but if she specifies 'woman' she has failed at making her point. See being gay is, as you know, not about hating women or finding them 'disgusting', it's about finding men attractive! Your status with women is irrelevant to your orientation in this instance. Your proof is that you find men attractive. The most she could attempt to assert is that you MIGHT be bisexual, but if you have no experience with women, and you don't find them attractive, you have no reason to believe that. that it's a choice I made You could always go with the 'when did you choose to be straight' option. Specifically, in order for being gay to be a 'choice', you would have to, at some stage, have asked yourself the following: Should I be be straight or should I be gay! There is a common misconception that this ONLY applies to gay people. In reality, if someone insists being gay is a choice, either they at some point made the choice to be straight OR it is a choice they have yet to make. No matter what answer they give, you can ask them to choose again. Tell her to choose to be gay and see if she can.
