Hi everyone. I have been in a relationship for almost 4 months now and have enjoyed it a lot. However, the past month and half my BF and I have not talked to each other much due to school and work. Now that school is done with and it is the summer, we should be able to spend more time with each other...but that isn't the case. My bf has not talked to me since May 21st and it's June 3rd. I'm seriously confused as to what is happening. He isn't answering his phone, texts, facebook or anything. What should I do? When is it too long to not talk to your bf? I can't get a hold of him for the life of me...:dry:
That is too long to not talk to your SO without an explanation. Do you both have mutual friends that you can ask about his whereabouts or family members or do you know where he lives? If I were you, I'd assume that he wanted out of the relationship and just "vanished" instead of giving a proper explanation. However, because he is/was a SO I'd be pretty worried and want to know what happened and if he's ok. I hope everything works out and you find some answers.
I agree. If he's not giving answers, you need to find them. However, try to avoid negative judgments just yet. Also, it would be good to avoid this situation in the future.
I'm sorry you are having these difficulties with your friend. He may have his reasons for disconnecting with you and is just being remiss in explaining them to you. Ask him if he has a problem you can help him with. I would give him a month total to come around so sometime around June 22nd if he still won't connect with you then send him one last "see you around" correspondence and move on. And don't take it personally, this happens to everyone.
I would just inquire via message how he is doing and see if there is a valid reason. If you can show up at a place where you know he'll be to confront him might be another option. Or simply text him and say "well, I guess you don't have enough respect to call/text/answer me so do I take that to mean you are breaking up with me?" Lay it on his shoulders and see if he responds. if no response, then unfortunately, you have your answer. Don't wait any longer, the time that has elapsed is long enough. He should have been man enough to be honest with you.
Wow, I'd lose my mind after not hearing from my boyfriend for even a single day. I worry when I haven't heard from him in a couple hours, and he'll start worrying too. So it's definitely not a good sign that you've not heard from your boyfriend in going on two weeks. I'd take that to mean it's most likely over. It's rare for a person to be so totally off the grid as to be getting zero correspondence of any form for such a period of time. Good luck. Hope you get some answers.
I have tried to contact him with various methods and he hasn't responded. I have been forward with him in my text messages and have sent him 2 voicemails. I don't know what's up... I think the June 22nd idea is a good idea for communication. He did not talk to me for a week during spring break and said he lost his phone and laptop, so that was a good excuse. I can't drive to his town and find him, because he moved out of the dorms... He said he was going to live on campus during the summer, but he was thinking about leaving for another city for a while. I just hate to be the person who tries to contact him and then find out that he was sick or something else.... I just hate being left out of the loop; it's not fair to me and it isn't fair to him. If I am going to be single, then I want to be single...not be like yeah I have a BF and I haven't talked to him in this long though.
I'm VERY patient when it comes to stuff like this... But Jun 22nd seems to far too long to go with nothing. Here is the deal. it only takes a minute to pick up the phone and call you and leave you a message saying "hey, I am ok, just very busy.. I miss you..ttyl"... That would at least be something. Obviously if he can't be bothered to do that he doesn't have any respect for you or the relationship. Thing is, this isn't the first time he has disappeared. I don't get the "he lost his phone and laptop" thing. Sorry, sounds like a cop out. I know you'd probably rather not, but I would walk away. Do so with dignity and honor. "Hey, well, since you haven't bothered to call me back in several weeks, we are done. I really wish you would have called or made some attempt to get in touch with me. I feel bad for having to call it off with you via voicemail, but you've left me no choice." Be cordial and try not to be angry. If he calls up and says he was in a coma for 3 weeks, SHANANIGANS. There might be a good explanation for it, but I'd doubt it.... Typically I am more upbeat about situations like these, but I've been burned like this before as well and in the end in my case, he just didn't want to be bothered anymore. He started seeing someone else without breaking it off with me. According to a mutual friend he pulls this all the time because he doesn't like dealing with the emotional parts of breaking up. <Shrug>
I think Hyaline is right. Losing both a phone and laptop is a really expensive matter (at least for college students), and it seems too convenient that happened during Spring Break. Also, even if it was an emergency, he should have contacted you.
Agreedwith Hyaline. You're supposed to be in a relationship...and a text or a fb message doesn't take more than a few minutes, even if it's just to say "I'm gonna be in another city with no means of communication". That's just too much time. I'd call off the relationship...You've tried to reach him and he hasn't answered. There're many jerks who choose to ignore your attempts at reaching them, and I'm not very fond of them. Good luck and keep us updated
You have already gone FAR too long without communication. I'd be absolutely frantic with worry and stress after this amount of time. I think you need to take the initiative and call it off so you can move on.
im guilty with this far too often. i go days without texting people back because i picked up extra shifts at work and then i go work out then i roll into bed straight after, looking at my phone is the last thing on my mind. but generally after 5 days-a week.... when my shifts have died down or i ahve half a day off is when i would respond..... sounds like somethig is up though. agree with someone else above said.... any mutual friends you can contact to ask if he is okay? deffo too long to not hear anything. dont mean to put a downer on anything but i would take it as its over.
I ended the relationship last night via voicemail and a text. I was not angry and I said that I still want to be friends. I hope he okay and I hope that everything goes well for him in the future. I said that he shouldn't make this mistake with future boyfriends, and that I am hurt that he did not talk to me. I don't like being single, but I can find someone else I guess.
A good decision to make. My first thought when I read your main post was, "Jesus that's a long time." It'd be nice if he took the time to explain what happened to you, haha. Do you know if he's still alive? :icon_wink
I think you made the right decision.. not an easy decision I'm sure, but sometimes the right decision isn't easy. Hope the hurt feelings will heal and you can move on from this. Well done for being calm too. I'm sure many people would have left a really bad tempered message, but it does no good.
