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Boyfriend's religious family...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by will101woo, Jun 4, 2014.

  1. will101woo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now! And I am so so happy with him. We have a great relationship and practically live together in our free time. We both have our own apartments but we stay together all of the time. Lately I have been thinking about the future and I find myself getting a bit worried.

    A year ago, when we started our relationship, my boyfriend came out to his parents and his only sister. It didn't go well.... Bear in mind my boyfriend is 27. But he told his parents and sister only to receive grievance. His family are very religious which is obviously where this stemmed from. I did understand this and I realised it must be difficult for them. So I supported my boyfriend and he told me that he would give them some time to process the information.

    Now a year has passed, and nothing has changed. His parents and sister never discuss me or anything personal with my boyfriend but he goes home to see them all the time. Every now and then my boyfriend talks to them about our summer plans or just mentions me in a small way and the topic is quickly changed - so I'm told because I have never met them before. Because of his family's attitude he doesn't want to tell anyone else in his family about him (who are also religious). He has come out to his good friends and work colleagues.

    It's just he now goes home a lot (which is another city) where he spends time with his family and friends from his childhood - and I feel like he is living another life when he is there. He can't communicate with me when he is back home and everyone always tries to tell him to go to church more often and tries to arrange dates for him with girls....

    In terms of Facebook I have said it am in a relationship but he can't do that because he is scared of his family's and his older friends reactions. Most of the people he knows via Facebook have no idea he is gay or in a relationship.

    I have always taken the high road with this and said to myself this must be a lot harder for him than it is for me - and I try to support him through it all - but the more I think and wish for a future where we are living together, get married, have a family.... The more I worry that this may never happen.... How can it if he has to protect the feelings of his family and continue to hide me from such a large portion of his life?