Fear of straight guys

Well I can see where you're coming from. I just learned to put up an act that I like how they're bullying other people and that I find them funny and respect them. It's nearly impossible to see through that. I'm just much more peaceful than they are and probably the same goes for you. A lot of people hate that they have to hide but I'm actually having a whale of a time double-crossing all these people and making them think I'm a different person completely. That just shows how easy it is to manipulate people. And if you can learn acting and enjoying it, I suppose it could help you with this.

 

I have a fear of straight people of both genders, so I get where you're coming from. I don't like to say heterophobia since I'm not hateful, but being around straight people can cause me to have panic attacks.

 

Well, there is no magical way to find out if you are gay or not. Plenty of guys and girls on here have posts wondering if someone they know is gay or not. And if "we" can't tell, most straight people won't even register it as an option. I know that doesn't really help make you feel better, but just a nudge of reality in hopes that it might soften it a bit..

You might need to work on your relationship with your dad and brother. I am still working on mine and they know about me. They have a hard time with me sometimes understanding what is going on and in turn I don't get them either. So working to understand them can be tough. But just know that they have to work to understand you. Be that now and when/if you come out.

Odds are, the women in your life are people you trust and you don't see them as a threat to your manhood. I know it's easy to say it doesn't matter, but most male's egos are quite fragile and are bruised easily. And it is likely that the female influence in your life helps build up your ego rather than put it in place. It happens in any male group. We are kinda pack animals with the Alpha being the leader. Even if it is a silent thing that happens. Ever been in a room of guys where someone new walks in and everyone's attitude and focus changes simultaneously? It's subconscious for most of us but in sounds groups its palpable. You'll have to find a way to work on dealing with that. It isn't going to stop when you are out. And it will happen at work and in your life later. But take baby steps. Get to know your brother and dad better. Ask them how they are doing and listen to THEM. working on that bonding with them will make it easier when you come into contact with other guys....

 

Tbh m8... just ignore em thats the best thing you can do... I mean I am a guy and I dont give a crap how I look or how I talk, because thats just me :icon_bigg everyone is different if they were the same Earth would've been lame :dry: So... cheer up (*hug*)

 

Just don't give a single fuck...
Not caring what people think is an art. If you don't care it can't hurt you.

 

I get where you're coming from. I feel at ease talking to straight women but when it comes to guys, that's a different story. I have 3 sisters and the only guy in our family (excluding my dad) so it's a bit of a struggle for me to relate to guys. Try to find topics in which you and your dad and brother have in common. My dad loves to watch sports and I don't but we both have our love with animals especially dogs so that is something we can talk about.

As for hanging out with straight men, I have struggled with this one ever since I was little. I've been bullied and made fun of so I stopped trying to "fit in" and realised that if these people really would like to hang out with me then they might as well have to deal the "real" me.

If you feel that you are uncomfortable, you don't have to torture yourself. It's hard to ignore what you are feeling so you might as well walk off.

 

^^This^^
You have to get to understand guys better. Guys have a simple way of making friends and bonding that can be so rewarding. Usually just doing an activity together is enough and maybe that's where you can start with your brother and father. One time I asked my dad to play tennis (my regular partner was a no show) and he shocked me by talking to his friends about me and him playing tennis like we were buddies! With most guys even a small shared interest is enough to get something started.

 

That sounds brutal! Try to remember that not all straight men feel negatively toward people who are gay. There are a lot of straight men who DO feel that way, and a lot of straight men who are absolutely, one hundred per cent positive about other people being gay.

 

actually im afraid of men in general gay or not i seem to have a problem with the jokes the mean comments i just cant stand men not my dad not my brother not my friends not anyone especially that im so flamboyant even gay men make fun of me and bully me so you could say i hate men sometimes and im so afraid of them that they would just make me hurt but that didnt stop me from being myself who is really a good person accepts me and win the prize of having a very good person in their life same thing goes for you
anyway as long as the straight guy who is going to be my friend understands me and i can be open to him about anything then i think that fear would go away don't worry a lot of straight men have an open heart and accepting mind but they just don't show sings that they are on the outside they just look like all those straight men
about your fear i shall say be yourself dont act more manly or worry about anything there is no way they would know your gay just take it easy they just make gay jokes about everything and anything you do so dont freak out that they have a doubt its ok fag jokes are what people like these days -.-
btw i really agree with you straight girls are so nice i have many friends who are girls and i have 4 sisters who i love spending time with them more than my brother and dad
im also my mother best friend ^.^ i think most gays are

 

I'm a gay girl, and I'm not afraid of straight women, but I do have a bit of a fear of heterosexual men...I can talk to them, but I'm always afraid of them finding out I'm a lesbian. Which probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense because heterosexual men just "like what I like" lol...I don't know, you'd think it would be the other way around, but I guess I'm just weird like that...

 

The thing about alot of friendships between men is that they practically build friendships through competing with one another and this competition can come off as bullying/douchey at times. Up until maybe 2 years ago I had such a difficult time talking with straight males throughout my life because I felt so intimidated while thinking that I had nothing to put forward in a 'competitive friendship'. It's SO much easier said than done but it took me a lot of conscious effort of starting to talk with the guys that seemed quieter+nicer and eventually build confidence to talk to a wider field of guys. It really helps to remind yourself that behind the whole manly image that some guys display, most of them are actually very accepting of others (and those who arent are usually pretty easy to single out)

 

I never use to fear straight men even when coming to terms with my sexuality but now since I have experience how disrespectful some of them can be to lesbians and down right mean . I fear them much more than I ever did , yeah I can talk to them be friends but I never ever let them know I'm a lesbian because the disrespect and harassment sets in and of course the obsession some can have thinking they still have a chance with you even though your a lesbian . Most men don't even know I'm a lesbian and I already have a few that were obsessed and one currently obsessed can you imagine how bad it is if they found out my sexual orientation I could even get raped . I've also been touched inappropriately by some on my job some have even tried one time I got so angry I almost broke a guy's hand when he tried to touch me even after that he still tried . I've had a guy try to kiss me by holding my face so he could put his lips on mine .
I 'm honestly scared of most straight guys now I can't trust most of them , I have to observe them for a while to know if I can trust them .