well here is a little bit about myself. im 22 and in the military 3000 miles away from home and my boyfriend. i came out to myself maybe a year and a half ago and came out over facebook 2 weeks ago (that went well btw, ask about it if you want to know more ) and ive been with my boyfriend for 5 months, and ive known him for about 9. my first real gay relationship. its always been long distance but i see him for a few weeks at a time every now and then. our relationship is great, i love him to death. right from the start, i knew he was for me. i love everything about him and we both feel the same about each other. we see ourselves together in the long run. im going to be in the military for another 3 years and he knows that, he wants to wait for me. so we can be together. my question is... from when i tell people (even my friends who are gay too) about us, they say, yeah i felt the same way... then i dumped him or something like that. so how do you know someone is for you? i really feel like he is for me, we are just so natural together, i love it. i know there is no rush, it will be a while until we can see each other every day, but im just trying to figure out why everyone says that?
In your situation, not living together you miss part of the bonding that happens when two people live in close quarters. I suspect when you are finally able to live together you'll be able to answer your own question.. For me, the "one" has been someone who consumes your every thought. You consider them when you do anything. In your case, you are trained to execute often without consideration. I am former ANG. That immediate execution might have a slight delay if you consider him when you are training or out in the field. If he pops into your head at that moment, he might be the one. For me, I make financial decisions, work decisions, life decision and even grocery decisions based on the influence of my partner. And he does the same for me. When you stop thinking solely about yourself and you suddenly think for two, then that is where you become one... Does that help? At least that is how I feel about it... How do you feel about your BF? I know you haven't been at it very long, but how do you and he work things out? Not being able to see each other has to be rough. Managing that relationship will take fortitude on both your behalves. Only time will tell if you are both on the same page. Like you said "there is no rush, it will be a while until we can see each other every day".. As far as other people.. Don't judge or compare your feelings about your BF to other people's relationships. You pairing is unique. People tend to say they are in love when they run out of other things to say. And in those cases, those are the people that end up broken up a short time later. You've heard the term "drama queen" right? Stay safe... I don't need to tell you to be brave, because you already are.
First, congrats on coming out with great results, not everyone is as lucky. About your situation, I don't think there is a way to know if he is the one, but don't let the experience of others speak for yours. You see, when we fall in love, the beginning of the relationship is always roses and rainbows, you are clouded by your infatuation, everything about him is perfect. The problem comes after the infatuation is over, if you still love him, his good things and bad things, then that means you love him. Many people get over the infatuation stage and after seeing every imperfection about the other person they begin to lose interest, they want to feel the spark(as people call it) like when they first started the relationship, but what caused that was actually the infatuation(basically the hormones and all of those things working on your brain). If your friends broke the relationship that easily, it means they never really loved them, it wasn't true love(if you want to name is something). If after the spark is gone, you still love him, you still see yourself with him, then I believe you are on the right path, if not, then all of those feelings were caused by your infatuation and it never went past that. I hope this can help you a bit.
Some people think they found "the one" solely based on how that person makes them feel, without paying much or any attention to the flipside... then one day, surprise...
