Fear of meeting new cute guys-gay and straight

I think building your confidence takes practice. Work on just talking to people.

I feel so similar to you. I fall into the fashion unconscious geek/nerd computer guy. So not really too many hotties chasing after me.. I have had several very hot BFs oddly enough and they were people who saw themselves as just normal people. They were lots of fun to be around and wonderful arm candy (who doesn't like showing off their hot BF). The trick with them was that people wouldn't talk to them in general because people saw them as unapproachable. When in truth they wondered what was wrong with them because nobody ever asked them out.

A mutual friend who is gay as well and I were comparing notes about people from HS. I am still friends with one of the guys we both drooled over. Yes, he is still hot, no he still doesn't realize it.. But man he looks good in tight jeans... sheesh.....

 

I love guys who don't realise how hot they are, not that I like how they have low self-esteem but I like it when they haven't a clue how good looking they are which is kinda how my ex-boyfriend was.

 

as for biguy, i think we are similar in a way with how we deal with goodlooking guys. whenever i have to face someone who i find attractive, i tend to feel intimidated and uncomfortable but its one thing that im trying to work on. i would like someone who i can be with that i find attractive but id like someone who i can relate with at the same time.

 

As always Hyaline hit the nail on the head.
Confidence takes practice.

I've had many similar past experiences on dates with "hot" guys where - as soon as I met them - I felt like they were "out of my league" or somehow superior to me, so the date was doomed from the outset.
Looking back, if I'd just relaxed and saw both of us as equals (which we were), my dating and boyfriend history would be very different.

In recent months though my life has done a tumble turn as a result of lots of reading and soul searching etc... haven't tested it out on the dating scene yet though.
I wish there was a uniform way to find self acceptance and self confidence, wouldn't that be great!?
Maybe just start off with learning to relax and calm your mind.

I'm also a bit of a daggy, geeky, sports... thing... some people like that though.
To quote Oscar Wilde:
"Fashion is merely a form of ugliness so unbearable that we are compelled to alter it every six months."

Peace be with you.

 

Yes true, we all assume but never really know what's going on in another persons head, there was this crazy hot dude in class who I didn't really know that well, I'd met him on occasion and was friendly but short and cordial (mostly because I was giddy inside lol) I'm generally quite quiet/reserved but when I do get to talking I can really have at it! anyway there's a bar many classmates in my major go to once every week, I also go often, mostly crack jokes with friends and have convo's and such. So one week I didn't go & so he came up to me the next day and said: (my name), Where were you dude? I missed your humour & jokes last night. I was floored like wtf YOU know my name? wait you know I exist, wait you like my humour ? lol (all this in my head of course) anyway we became friends after that and I was really happy the whole of that day haha