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I guess I am just a waste of space

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by phoenix89, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. phoenix89

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    I am currently sitting in my room crying because of what my brother and his girl-friend are talking about. "Apparently", my Dad is sick of having to drive me to my unpaid internship. Which I know he is not, but that is beside the point. It is literally a five minute drive, the library where I am interning is 2 miles from my house, that is it.

    Well I am sorry that I do not have a car or a license. I had to spend over $1400 to cover the last bit of my tuition. I emptied both of my savings and my checking account to afford to pay for my internship, since it is for credit I had to pay for it. Nevermind the fact that I am working 20 hours a week unpaid so that I can graduate.

    Does she not notice that I do 90% of the cooking, which she always bitches about. She is so God Damn picky. I have to guilt trip her to even do the dishes. I am also watching her 10 month old daughter all of the f:***:ing time. But apparently that means nothing to her.

    She is also bitching because I do not pay any bills. How am I going to pay anything? I have no money. She has no f:***:ing room to talk. She has not worked for years, is living off of us the government, and has the f:***:ing balls to insult me. I am busting my ass trying to better myself and get out of poverty, but that is never going to happen because I own $87,000 in student loans. And she has the f:***:ing balls to talk about me, while I am a mere two rooms away. She can go to hell. I am not a f:***:ing waste of space. I have more right to be in this house than she does. I want to move out because of her. She makes me feel like sh*t. She is lazy as sin, and I am the one getting raged on because I have an unpaid internship that I have to be drove to because I cannot afford to go myself. Have a f:***:ing heart you b*tch.
     
  2. mangotree

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    Hope you feel better after getting that off your chest.
    It doesn't sound like nice environment to be in.

    You're not a waste of space, no one is.

    Peace be with you.
    And as your signature says - Keep calm and love one another.
     
  3. phoenix89

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    Thank you. I told my Dad and he yelled at her over it.
     
  4. kyrtap

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    I find most people tend to spend all their time criticizing everyone around, never actually taking a good hard look at themselves. I think it makes them feel better about themselves, I find that rather sad, don't let her get to you, you know what you are, you know what you're doing, keep calm and love one another :wink:
     
  5. phoenix89

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    Thank you. It just hurts to be made to feel this way. I just wish people would love me the way I love others
     
  6. Hyaline

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    The truth is that since you are moving forward and they/she is not, odds are they recognize it. Once you move out, things for them will not get any better, but things for you will.

    If the driving thing is really that big of a deal, get a bike, take a bus or make the effort to do so on your own. I know money is tight, but ultimately, it gives them one less thing to use as the "well, we helped you and you didn't help us".

    keep your nose to the grindstone. Ultimately, you'll benefit from your hard work. And in the end your life will change once you are able to leave home for good. And it will be a huge step forward in a way I can't really convey. But it will be the scariest but at the same time one of the most life changing points in your life..

    HUGS!!!
     
  7. phoenix89

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    Thanks for your response. There is no public transportation in my town. I have Youngstown listed just because it is the largest town in the area. I can't bike either, the route is not very safe. There are people who do it, but not very often.

    I'm just tired of all of it. This is my home, I have lived here my entire life. She has been here for maybe two years. My family is working on getting me a car, but it will not be until February or March.