Okay so last night my mother and I spoke. She has all the questions in the world. To be honest, I have no clue how to answer them because I will answer and then she follows it by something else. For example, she kept asking me how I know I like girls? She said that she is okay with it either way, but wanted to understand why. I explained to her that it is just a feeling-I am still trying to understand it myself so answering these questions is weird for me. Anyways, I said that I just have this feeling that I would like to be around this person a hell of a lot, care for them a lot and well yes I do find them attractive (I have a hard time talking about this part in conversation with her). She then said, "Well, maybe you want to be their friend or something." I did say yes, sure I would like to be their friend of course, but I have other friends and I don't have the feelings for them like I do with other girls. She then will ask, "well do you find guys attractive?" I said, "Sure." She kind of gave me a look. "Well people who I have met that are gay, don't typically find the other attractive." In my mind, I was like ha, it isn't like I want to jump on them. I can look at a guy and say, "wow, he looks nice." With a girl though I am thinking, "Damn, she is beautiful!" I also cannot keep my eyes off of a crush I have right now so there is another way lol. My mom admits that she isn't try to be mean or anything she just has questions about it. I am just having an issue because every time I answer a question she will say, but blah blah blah. Anyways, does this get easier? My anxiety has gotten lower since I came out, but my mom has all the questions in the world and well not sure how to answer them anymore.
Answering those questions only gets easier when you feel more confident about how you feel. The questions your mum asked could be answered with other questions. "Who do you know you like girls?", Well mum, how did you know you liked guys? "Do you find guys attractive", sure I can identify an attractive guy...have you never seen a beautiful woman? When you start to feel confident about who you are and how you feel about these things, you'll find it easier to deal with the questions. They'll annoy the HELL out of you, but you won't feel as uneasy about them!
I talked this over with my therapist in our last session. You have the right to boundaries and saying "I don't know" or "I'm not comfortable with answering that" is acceptable sometimes.
It seems to me she's having a hard time accepting you're feelings for girls, I mean it's somewhat understandable but I think she should just let you figure yourself out instead of trying to "help" you do it. Also I am so sick of people thinking just because you're gay you don't find the opposite sex attractive, I mean come on I'm gay, yet I've told many girls they look good, like you said I don't want to get with them, but I still acknowledge their beauty. Whether it gets easier or not I wouldn't know, my family is very homophobic, just the thought of coming out to them makes me feel sick. If I were you I would politely ask for a bit of space. Good luck and hang in there.
