To the gay males- straight guy best friends?

My best friend in the world is a straight guy. Right after I came out it was easy to kinda "crush" for guys in my group, but I kinda started screening them out after a while. It kinda helped though that we already saw each other as brothers even before I came out, so it wasn't really a big issue ever.

 

Both of my best friends are straight guys and I never even felt a single hint of attraction torwards them.
They're just better off as friends!

 

Here is the deal. I have been best man three times at weddings for very close friends. you might even call them best friends. They know about me and I know that I can never have them. Now in my case, I only ever had a crush on one of them. Once I saw how happy he was with his wife, those feelings melted away. There isn't any reason to chase or dwell on something you will never have. So yes, it is possible to maintain those relationships. The oldest friend I have known since Jr High which means I have knowing him probably 26-27 years. The others are 18 years and 10 years.. (for the ones I was best man for).

I think maybe you have to look at them like your brother. I see them as part of my family and I don't want to do anything with my family. Because my relationships with them are so close, that bond supersedes everything else.

Another thing. I make it a habit to NOT sleep with my friends. I've broken this rule less than a handful of times in my life. And I think it helps keep friendships from getting messy.

So those are the tools I use to help me keep my distance. Even if they are really cute and you know you'd give them the wildest night of their lives in bed.. HEHE

 

I totally get it. I had a friend in college that would wink at me all the time and smile at me while wearing his tight jeans. He was a blond hair twinky type that always revved my engine. I still swear that he is closeted despite marrying his high school sweetheart girlfriend. They have a kid now and far be it for me to be a homewrecker. It is still hard when someone gives you that much attention and is that attractive, then it all goes away.

 

The coping's the hard part. Realizing that you can't have them and won't have them and being OK with it. I have several straight guy friends, whom I'm out to, whom I also, yes, had minor crushes on. I harbored small hopes of 'well maybe he could actually be bi' I knew in my heart that he was straight.

Trust me, having them as friends and friends alone is much better than acting like it than secretly harboring feelings for them for years.

 

I have been there loved him too much until I confessed LOL. He rejected me of course said he was sorry but he's not into men. Got my heart broken lol

 

There is a saying: "Good fences make good neighbours". It applies very much to what Chip alluded to above. Having boundaries or "fences" makes for a good relationship. My best friend and I have been friends for almost 42 years...I know very much what subjects are appropriate to talk about and which are not, and he respects my boundaries as well (he also knows when to call me on my bullshit).

It's a question of the deep respect and love, yes (definitely platonic) love, that I have for my best friend and I want to keep it that way.

 

Personally the thought never crossed my mind with my straight friends. I can count around five or six that I have very strong and open friendships with without even considering a relationship of a sexual nature. I believe the reason behind it is that I tend to form strong family-like bonds with my best mates due to the circumstances regarding my real family so it'd be weird if i did consider that, almost incestuous.
However those who I am not close with I have had 'fantasies' about but you just have to stop yourself being in a position where you feel it could develop further i.e. fantasise in 'alone time' but only in 'alone time'

 

my two best friends in the world are straight guys who know about me being bi, i mean whats the chances of falling for every guy you're close with? if the friendzone can exist between male/female best friends then it sure can exist in male/male friendships! i did have another friend who fell out with me over my sexuality because he felt "awkward" and he still makes "fag" jokes now, but a real friend is going to be a real friend no matter what unless you're not very nice to them!:icon_bigg

 

well even though i always fall for straight guys but i have like 3 or 4 who have been best friends with me for 7 years one of them only knows im gay and even though he was the first guy i kissed im not so much attracted to him anymore now come on this stupid crush has gone from years and im over it he is above all my friends he is my BFF i tell him everything and he does too we are like brothers i can never look at him as more than a brother and a very good friend for me you know why would i break this friendship for such a little feeling and i know he cant love me back that way so its not going to work when you really find your real love you will see that you were wasting your time looking at straight people who would never love you back that way ^.*

 

All my best friends are straight males. I can basically talk about whatever I want and they do the same. Maybe I avoid graphic details about my sexual life, but I haven't felt the need to share those so far.

 

I've had many very good friends that were straight guys--probably never best friends. It's never been an issue for me--to be honest I don't tend to find straight guys that attractive, they don't try hard enough.:lol: But, I don't see how it would need to be a problem. I mean once things are off the table they're off the table. I mean I have a lot of gay male friends I will never sleep with either...

 

My best friends are straight ( platonic love ), I have no lgbt friends in real life .

 

All of my school friends are straight males, but they're all just like bros for me... for the most part :icon_wink Except for one of my straight best friends who I kind of have a thing for, the others are all either girls or straight guys that I'm just so close with I would never consider a relationship.

 

I do like guys, given how often I comment on the "Saw a Hot Guy Today" thread and as my label would indicate, so I will comment, too.

Straight guy best friends have typically been my best friends. With them, the history was long. Could some of them even be considered good looking? Yes. That was a non-issue. It was others who made that comment, including an aunt of mine on one occasion. I've had better luck with straight friends. No apologies about that. The two things to watch are that you don't ever cross that line, of coming on to them, and you cannot discuss a sexual situation in graphic terms. If letting go of the "privilege" of the very last thing I mentioned is a deal breaker, that's up to you.

I've had some gay friends with whom you had that "privilege" and it actually seemed to be a big piece of what the friendship was about yet the friendship was weaker in other important areas.

So, to the OP, yes you can.

 

Most of my friends are girls, at least my inner circle. I think the difficult thing was the straight guy friends left my school after 4th-6th grades. Seems like they moved away or just didn't want to call me anymore. Ironically, the guys I have reached out to lately are gay. I came out to them first because I felt it was low risk and wanted some allies. We still aren't close, but I hope to change that(not to hit on them as they have significant others).

My brother is truly my best friend anyways, and he's straight. I told him who I had a relationship with before but not detailed stuff obviously. We are close because of my sometimes insane parents.