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I hate being outed.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Gleeko0, Jun 8, 2014.

  1. Gleeko0

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What a hell of a weekend. I'm call but still kind of emotional so I apologize in advance.

    This thread is about me, but unfortunately, it'll start with my brother (which I hate a lot).
    Well, lets say, my brother has a drug problem. More specifically weed. Well, I am okay with weed, as long as you earn your own money to buy it and as long as it doesn't interfere with other people's life EVEN THOUGHT its illegal in my country. On my view, users assume that responsibility, its their life, not mine.

    Despite that, I'm not okay with his use of weed. He diverts the money my mother gives him to go to school to buy his toy, and he is a minor (that could even implicate legal issues to my part)

    Everybody on this shitproject of a family knows my brother smokes weed, and nothing is done. When something about his troubles surfaces everybody "freaks out" like if the issue was recent.

    Well, things surface. It was shared on social network a picture of him smoking, and they fought all morning about it, him with cheesy excuses and her (my mother) pointing out the "shame of a son" that "we" are, of course I'm included. I can't live my life, work on my college and never get myself into drugs without being labeled as "dirty" and "shameful" and compared to my brothers DRUG issue just because I'm gay. Like if that was illegal, like if that meant my life was doomed.

    There I am, involved in the fight. And WHY? Why am I included? I don't have a drug problem, why my """issue""" is always brought up when they discuss their problem? I'm tired of this! :dry:


    What made me flip, for real, was that she called my grandmother (Dad's mom) that didn't knew about me. And told her about this case, about my brother, which she is very well aware of the problem, and then amid threats from my brother that he would disclose my sexuality to her, my mother told her about me perhaps in a attempt to protect me BUT STILL violating my boundaries, and emphasizing "all the shame" in it.


    1. I don't have a drug problem, but I was involved
    2. People don't care about boundaries, or respect, and go around disclosing information about oneself.
    3. My sexuality and all the taboo about it on this ridiculous family is being used as blackmail against me.

    What a hell of a situation. I cursed, I called her what would translate as "hoe" for this, and at this point I'm not caring about it. I shouldn't be involved in the first place, I'm sick of all this magnification about my private life, I'm sick of blackmailing.

    My brother threatened to disclose this because I once told him to not smoke at home otherwise I would snitch him, and he did it anyways, and I did what I was supposed to do. What I'm supposed to do now? Probably denounce him, sent him to compulsory drug care (if it would ever work on this country where Law is as fast as a turtle) ?

    This is not just. I'm over 18, I'm not committing any crimes, yet I suffer the same stigma as my brother, actually, ITS A WORSE stigma.

    This not just.
     
  2. HeavyHeart

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Central Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    That sounds super frustrating :frowning2: If you are still living with your parents, i would seriously consider moving out. My family acts a lot like yours and outs me to other people a lot and associate's me with negative things b/c I'm a lesbian. It's ridiculous, but the fact that I live 2 hours away from them really helps.
     
  3. girlsxrainbows

    Regular Member

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    Wow okay. Mr. Gleeko0 you need to get away from your family, if they can't accept and support you for who you are and attribute your sexual orientation to something 'shameful' then they shouldn't have the privilege of being in your life. If they don't agree with your lifestyle that's on them, but for them to be disrespectful like that is messed up and not something you should have to put up with. Do your best to get out of that environment asap.
     
  4. Gleeko0

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ikr :/

    Thanks for the support, I'm doing my best, I'm working on it. But I have to prioritize college, and that might mean I have to stay here for a while. If that ever gets in crossfire, I won't have a thing to lose, then I can be as aggressive as I want (lawsuits and compensations). For the time being, I'm tied to college and home, which means I am studying (thats good), but means I'm at "home" :/