URGENT: Broke up, now who gets the apartment?

Hey everyone,

So, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We live together in an amazing 2 bed apartment with a parking space and free laundry, and it's super cheap. Great place to live.
We're trying to figure out what our living situation is going to be and I honestly don't know what to do. We were supposed to have a friend move into our spare room the week he broke up with me, and now it seems that he's not going to be moving in (long story).

I lost my job two weeks ago as well, so this has been a rough month for me. I've always wanted to move to San Francisco, and though this is a great opportunity to do so, I'm also not in a place emotionally right now where I can up and leave all my friends and loved ones. But this is such a rare occasion, to be without a job and without a partner at the same time and still be young enough to make a big change to my life like that.

We're going to discuss what to do with the apartment and these are the options I can think of. (FYI, I own most of the furniture in the apartment and was always the one to make calls about maintenance)

1. Ex moves out and I look for a new roommate
2. I move out (and move in with strangers and sell most of my stuff)
3. Ex moves into the spare room and we both stay (unlikely, not sure if he's comfortable with that)
4. Our friend moves into our place with me, and my ex moves into his old room that he's trying to sublet
5. Our friend moves into our place with my ex and I sell most of my stuff and move into his old room (in a house of 6 other people)
6. We both move out and look for different living arrangements.
7. I move out and move across the country, and leave him with the apartment.

Anyone in this situation before? I really don't know how to handle it. I'm afraid of having bad emotions staying there because of the memories we had living there for a year and a half. But at the same time, it's an amazing apartment and I don't want to just let it go. I also have to sell lots of my stuff since I can't afford a place on my own (nor do I want to, really).

So whats the best option here? I'd rather not have to sell most of what I own, and I feel like if I do, maybe I should just take the scary plunge and move across the country and start over. I'm already losing some good friends due to this breakup (but since it happened, my real friends have been super supportive).

 

Thanks everyone. I got some good news yesterday (finally). Got a job offer here in Boston that I might need to take simply because it would look great on my resume. I still really want to move to SF and haven't accepted the job yet, but it might just be too good to pass up at the moment.

It's been really rough dealing with all of this stuff. It makes me really sad that we can't just keep living together and just be friends. Everything in my life right now is up in the air and I just don't know how to deal with any of it. I keep having random crying fits, not just because we're broken up, but because i'm so scared of losing my best friend and all the friends I made with him. I have some of my friends from before our relationship in my life, but the ones I've been hanging out with for the last 3 years feel like they're off limits to me at the moment. Makes me really sad to think about.

---------- Post added 9th Jun 2014 at 09:39 AM ----------

Oh also, we're going to sit down tonight and talk about the living situation here. I'm going to tell him that my ideal situation would be to have him move into our spare room and keep living here. His friendship is very important to me and I think if we just avoided eachother for a while we would be fine eventually. I"m not sure that he'll want to do that, in which case i'll make my argument as to why I think I should stay and he should go. I'm really hoping he can move somewhere close by, hoping we can work on being friends sooner rather than later (I know we both need time to heal first).

Just really really scared of losing my best friend.

 

Well, I was hoping we would talk it through, but it ended up being a onesided conversation. I told him the reasons I wanted the apartment if he wasn't going to move into the spare room. He just acted said and said he would go pack his things. We ended up having a really long conversation about a lot of stuff and I felt better about it afterwards a bit (until I tried to go to bed, and all I could think about was how much I missed cuddling with him). I felt like we would be friends in the future.

This morning however, I got a message from him on facebook saying that he was no longer welcome at his parent's house and was now homeless. He has nowhere to live and it's terrifying to me. I offered for him to move back in here until he can find a new place but he is refusing. He seems almost angry at me and stuff and I really don't know why. I told him that I took that job offer I got because we said we would share good things with eachother in the future. Then I told him I would keep an eye out for any one looking for roommates or rooms to fill and he got really upset. He told me I was being kindof obnoxious and inconsiderate (even though I offered to let him stay here).

I think he's really upset that I'm not freaking out about all of this that much. I felt really bad that he couldn't be happy with me or because of me, so i'm accepting that this is the time to let him go so he can be happy again, he deserves it.