Just had to reject a boy on the basis of my gayness. I'm not usually around here but I've been struggling a lot lately. I hate leading boys on, but it's the second time that this has happened. I keep giving them the wrong idea, when I'd rather just spare us both the time and let them know that I'm gay. He's my friend's brother, with whom I went to his prom and had a lot of fun. Apparently she told him that I wasn't straight before prom but I guess it didn't really sink in. He's really awesome and not pushy AT ALL and I feel terrible that I didn't tell him sooner. He just asked me out in a sweet text and I basically had to say "shit I feel like the worst human being but I'm super gay and I swear this isn't an excuse to not date you- I came out to my mom two days ago." I just need to figure out how to avoid giving guys the wrong idea. If y'all have any tips, feel free to share.
Hehe. It's hard not to give the wrong idea. Act more like a "bro". Instead of being all polite and proper. Talk about LGBT pride or how beautiful a woman looked that day. Bring up sports and video games. Basically let them know you're homie. :lol: Don't feel bad about turning people down, you just weren't interested. Or you could always call them by the wrong name to make sure they don't get too chummy. But no, seriously, just don't feel bad about turning them down. They are big boys, they should be able to handle it. Unless they arw misogynistic ass wipes. C:
I don't know if it it'll work for you, but it helped my gay friend a lot. He's kind if cute so a lot of girls literally cling to him, flirt ect ect. Until...he bought himself a rainbow necklace xD It looks like a guitar pick but in rainbow colors, know what I mean? If that doesn't work, just like text back "I'm sorry but I'm lesbian" good ol' straight forward...(or not ;D)
Honestly, I think your text was perfect and about as kind as you could possibly put it - so I wouldn't feel ashamed of it at all! Mostly just wanted to say that, since I don't have any great advice for "not giving them the wrong idea" - and honestly, I wouldn't put that on yourself since it's generally not something in your control - but if you could somehow allude to liking women at some point, you'll at the very least get them wondering. Unless they're a complete dolt that ought to help prepare them for the potential that you're gay and therefore not interested.
I've taken some of this advice to heart and decided that it's obviously probably not best to start telling guys outright that I'm gay, but also to stop feeling bad if they misinterpret it. Maybe I've been overthinking it- it's really not my fault if I'm not into someone, and it would be the same if I were straight. I guess I just don't want to have to reject guys, so I kind of use my gayness as a crutch to avoid actually rejecting them on the basis of my disinterest. I must think that telling a guy that I'm a lesbian- i.e., incapable of liking him romantically- is somehow less hurtful than telling him that I'm just not interested. But I should probably ditch that mentality if I'm ever to learn how to properly and politely reject someone. Thanks everyone for the input <3
