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How would you ask your best friend out?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Typhoon, Jun 13, 2014.

  1. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    So I'm going to make it as quick as possible for the sake of anyone reading. There's a good friend of mine I like and inexplicably I fell in love with him even though he's definitely not my type, I just fell in love with him. It's not a superficial I-want-to-lick-you-all-over type of love and that's it... I feel it is genuine and it feels real. Despite the fact that he does give the gay vibe I don't see myself succeeding in any kind of relationship, but I want to go out with him as a friend.

    Any tips? We're both male adults, same age-range.

    We have an exam next week, and it's our last day at uni. It's also my birthday, and I wanted a good excuse to hang out with him. I never had a happy life, nor an opportunity to hang out with friends, my dysfunctional family destroyed most of my childhood and most of my potential to live a happy life. Hanging out with him I genuinely believe, even if it's for an odd half hour, will make me feel miles better.

    So... do I get him a drink or what? Is there some secret code of sorts between friends when they hang out, some sort of expectations?
    What do we talk about?? Nothing to do with schoolwork :eusa_naug

    I have horrible social skills, so any advice will be awesome :slight_smile: So many people enjoy ever day to the fullest, I just want one day like that to remember.

    Would it be awkward if I asked him if he wanted to hang out?

    I also don't want him to know that deep down I am in love with him. It is something that came along some time after I got to know him, and it cannot be helped.
     
  2. Young Blood

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    I know exactly how you feel. Coming from a dysfuntional family myself, I never had the opportunity to go out and form relationships with people. I never really wanted to before because I was REALLY socially awkward (and I'm talking, sitting in a corner, loner, socially awkward :/), but now after the job I have now and being able to interact with people, I am WAY better at talking to people and have become more outgoing :slight_smile:

    In regards to the guy, just tell him that your birthday is coming up and you would like to know if he wants to hang out and do something for your birthday :slight_smile: Simple as that. When you're around him, don't keep thinking "I am in love with him", but still think of him as your friend and things will be easier. That's worked for me :slight_smile:

    Also, there's no secret code to these things :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Just do what you guys normally do :slight_smile: But you're going somewhere to do it :slight_smile:

    Hope that helped a little :slight_smile:
     
  3. Yossarian

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    Tell him it is your birthday and you want someone to hang and celebrate it with, and you are buying dinner. Doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. If he doesn't want to go there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. You can buy wine with the dinner or cocktails before while waiting for a table if you want to loosen things up. You haven't said whether you are out to him or not, so that would probably affect the conversation you would have. If he considers himself your friend, just "hanging out" without a pre-planned conversation shouldn't be a problem, unless you want to come out and/or tell him that he means more to you than a casual friend; you will have to play that one based on what he says and how you feel at the moment.
     
  4. Typhoon

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    Well I actually did ask him but unfortunately he told me that he's already ''booked'' as he put it with a few friends, and they're renting premises for a few days. I'm not too particularly upset, he seemed genuinely sorry that he couldn't hang out, but seemed genuinely interested in hanging out when I suggested that we meet at another time.

    I didn't mention my birthday, since I suspected he might have something up and I didn't want to make him feel pressured to say yes or make him feel uncomfortable in saying no.

    No I'm not out to him, although I plan on telling him since I do know that he is at least supportive of gay people. That much I do know.
     
  5. SaleGayGuy

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    Hi Duwayne

    Firstly, good luck with the exam and happy birthday in advance for next week.

    I would think it perfectly to go out for a drink / meal to celebrate the end of university, in fact it would be unusual not to. It’s also ok and normal to hang out with your friends after uni as you start to search for work etc. if this was your last year. BUT if your friend/love interest doesn’t know you are gay and are falling for him please don’t tell him or even hint to him, until after his last exam. The last thing you want to do is mess with his head at such a crucial time, you have all summer to get to know him better.

    Once again I wish you success with exams and love interest.

    Sale Gay Guy
     
  6. Typhoon

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    Thank you!

    Yes I know exactly how that feels, I live with an alcoholic father and my performance this year went down the gutter thanks to him. We still have another 3 years to go. I never plan on telling him that I fell in love with him, unless I find out that he is gay and got to know him better. It's odd, I love him so much, but it's not really sexual (although I did let my mind wander a bit sometimes >_>) and he's definitely not the type of guy I'd fall for. If I ever did tell him, of course I would make absolutely sure that I choose the right moment but I am a realist and I know it will not happen.

    I do plan on telling him that I am gay face-to-face in the future, since I've only came out to friends through my computer, and I know he's accepting. But how would he feel if I started asking him if he wants to grab a drink more than once? It's not like I want to have sex with him (I probably wouldn't say no given the opportunity >.>) but I feel really happy when he's with me, and unfortunately there has never been much happiness in my life. He's been kind to me, in his matter-of-fact way, and I will never forget that.
     
  7. Bedroom Hymns

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    Awww you're so cute, I hope it goes well! Wether he is gay or not. Keep updating!