Will I have a better chance of finding someone in UNI?

Some suggestions for when you get to college...

A) be out. This doesn't mean you need to wear a rainbow tee shirt everywhere you go (although a tasteful bracelet, flag pin, or similar can quietly send a message without you ever opening your mouth and may get you approached by someone who would otherwise think you are straight). But it does mean that when the issue of sex/dating/who you find attractive comes up, you are honest and matter of fact about being gay rather than trying to avoid or change the subject or the like. People who know you as an out gay man may have friends, relatives, or classmates who are gay guys you might like and they might introduce you. Or they may talk to someone who does.

B) check out the local LGBT organizations on campus and get involved if you have the time. While the majority of their membership may not be your 'type', they can still be very nice folks (and in the long term having a diverse group of friends can pay definite dividends way beyond dating and relationships).

C) check out the LGBT community center in the city the university is in. In particular, see if they have information on any local LGBT sports clubs/leagues/teams in the area. A lot of the larger population centers have these. Rugby, flag football, running, and softball seem to be the most common type, but I've seen references to just about any athletic activity you can think of, including volleyball and ice hockey. A lot of these groups have their own websites and/or are listed on gay sports sites like Outsports.com. And, of course, Google is your friend in this area as well.

The folks on the team may or may not be close enough to your age to interest you, but even if they aren't they may have friends/relatives who are gay and in your age range.

Finally, and this may have to wait until you are old enough (don't know the drinking age in Canada), but you could go to the gay bar(s) closest to the campus on the weekend and see who shows up. I didn't start going to the bars until after collge, but the one my friends and I went to most was fairly close to the campus and a lot of the guys there were pretty obviously college students or close to college age. If you are going to a major university with a large student population and you have the means to get around, also check out the bars and clubs farther away.

Different places have a different vibe to them, so the trick is to find the one(s) that fit your personality. Bear in mind that bars/clubs are meat markets and that you not obligated to do anything with anybody. But not everyone who talks to you is trying to get in your pants either. Be polite, whether on general principles or when turning someone down. And you never know, you may meet someone you want to say yes to. Play safe always, of course.

One last thing...EC rules don't allow the use of app names. People will either replace the name with asterisks or just refer to 'the apps that shall not be named' or the like. I'd suggest reaching out to the staff proactively and asking them to edit your post to remove the offending bits. They're a nice group of folks and will appreciate you being proactive on the matter.

Hope this helps, and good luck

Todd:smilewave

 

I really think it will be a lot easier. Be open and honest and do the things you like to do but try to do them in places or in ways that other gay guys might choose to do them. I don't know how big the city you will be in is but here we have gay sports leagues of just about every sort, gay sports bars, actual gay gyms (relatively uncommon) and gyms that are largely gay (much more common). I belong to a national chain gym and the two locations I go to are probably about 80% gay and about 60% gay. I don't think there are as few gay guys of your type as people tend to think, they're just a little more difficult to tell--picking the right context can make it a lot easier to tell. The other thing I would suggest is trying to widen your circle of gay friends and frankly just friends of all sorts who know you're gay. You never now when some queeny little fellow you would never consider dating well let go with: "OMG you're just like Jason, you should meet Jason."

 

legitawesoe17, I'm in exactly the same boat as you. I'm athletic and do gymnastics, and when i told a couple of people at school that I was still a virgin they were slightly surprised as they said I seemed confident with girls. The thing is, I like guys, plain and simple, but I'm a guy and I have no idea why -I'm sure you understand...

I keep falling for straight guys too, a couple have been some friends, and with one other guy there seemed to be something there and he is masculine, so I guess that's why I fell for him. I know exactly what you mean...I'm a guy that likes guys...and I like masculine things...hence why I like guys over girls because I don't like feminine stuff.

I'm SO frustrated also, a couple of my friends know and one offered to go to a gay club with me so I can pick up a guy hahaha which I probably will do tbh, I'm just slightly worried that they will all not be my type and be too girly which would really depress me. All I know is that I still like that guy from school who I just can't get over. I've liked other guys here and there and inbetween but I just can't get over this ONE guy..have you ever had that??

---------- Post added 16th Jun 2014 at 05:33 PM ----------

legitawesoe17, I'm in exactly the same boat as you. I'm athletic and do gymnastics, and when i told a couple of people at school that I was still a virgin they were slightly surprised as they said I seemed confident with girls. The thing is, I like guys, plain and simple, but I'm a guy and I have no idea why -I'm sure you understand...

I keep falling for straight guys too, a couple have been some friends, and with one other guy there seemed to be something there and he is masculine, so I guess that's why I fell for him. I know exactly what you mean...I'm a guy that likes guys...and I like masculine things...hence why I like guys over girls because I don't like feminine stuff.

I'm SO frustrated also, a couple of my friends know and one offered to go to a gay club with me so I can pick up a guy hahaha which I probably will do tbh, I'm just slightly worried that they will all not be my type and be too girly which would really depress me. All I know is that I still like that guy from school who I just can't get over. I've liked other guys here and there and inbetween but I just can't get over this ONE guy..have you ever had that??

 

hmm yeah I know how you feel, but I'm sure we aren't the only 2 non-feminine guys in the world...I'm sure other people who are a bit older than us and with some more life experience have met masculine guys too What sort of guys are you into exactly??

 

HA if just we lived in the same town-.- When did you start realising you liked guys??

 

What's your beard girlfriend haah?? And that's the same age as when I first realised too! yeah the youth clubs are probs more for the fem guys cos I guess in a way they feel less reserved about their sexuality(?). Tbh I wouldn't even go to a gay youth club here, I just know it would be awkward as hell. Don't get depressed though man, I know EXACTLY how you feel, like when I go to parties it sucks so bad when a guy I would like to get with starts talking to me about which girls we should get with..and I'm just there like ".... .......... .......... f***"

 

Again, I don't know how big your city is--but here I would tell you to join a gay sports team. I guess there may be a few guys on the rugby team who aren't as masculine as you'd like but surely you can't field a whole team full of people who aren't into sports. If nothing else really out gay guys tend to know other gay guys and while most guys know a fairly wide array of the different "flavors" of gay guys people tend to know the most gay guys of their particular stripe. So, if no one on the rugy team is masculine enough for you at least they stand a better chance than most of knowing people who are.

One more thing that I will mention--and I really don't mean to give offense to you or anyone else. Sometimes in my discussions with guys about what their type is it seems that for some people who are unable to find "masculine" gay guys--again I'm not saying you--part of the reason is that "masculine" in their mind is standing in for people who aren't out or are out only to their closest friends. If that is what is going on, that's a whole other problem

---------- Post added 16th Jun 2014 at 04:16 PM ----------

Oops--posted that without realizing. What I was going to say is that if that is the problem--while I honestly don't know how not really out people find each other--there are several threads devoted to it.

 

well just like someone else said don't date a queen just be his friends he might set you up with one of his friends and might just be your type
i know how you feel some people don't get comfortable around us but hey i really think you should get to know some of those flamboyant boys you never know some guys act femme on the outside but they are quite masculine in real life like me but too bad i hate football but don't worry i dont hate sports i like going to the gym and i love fighting i'm good at it too(idk if it count as a sport but still) ^.*
but on the outside im the gay who has his flame burning high who most guys would think he is just a silly queen

 

Woah how many guys have you fallen for?! have you had any sexual experiences with guys yet???

 

i feel that with most straight guys but when i get to know them things are way different dude just try to get to know someone at least for more than one night if you just kept feeling out of place and awkward with him well just dont talk to him anymore
i bet there would be someone who is like you and shares some stuff you like you know not all flamboyant boys are the same just try you wont lose anything you said you dont mind being friends well do it :icon_bigg

 

That does make sense now that I think about it. Most of the guys I know who are on gay sports teams are in their thirties.

The other thing I would say is if you have tried a bar or club and didn't meet the right kind of guy, maybe you aren't at the right bar. A couple weeks ago we were out at a sports bar watching a game, having wings--that sort of thing. This group of straight guys come in--there are 6 of them. We remarked them because both my husband and I noticed none of them pinged our gaydar, not a bit. So we're wondering what's going on. You get a lot of mixed groups in gay bars--obviously straight women with gay men, straight women with straight men, even straight men with gay men (we had a straight guy who ran with our group back in the day)--but you really don't get straight guys, especially big groups of them. So we kind of watch and, to be honest, eavesdrop a bit. That's how we know that they actually were straight, had never been to the bar before and... that it took them 23 minutes--they were well into their second round--to realize they were in a crowded gay bar. I'm thinking that would be a great bar for you.:icon_wink

 

i wish i was a girl sometimes cause i just want to try it i mean never mind .......im proud and i love my male body its perfect
and well i always fall for straight guys too more than gay ones idk why >.<