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I don't know what to do here...please help!!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by WearyWanderer, Jun 15, 2014.

  1. WearyWanderer

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    Ok, so my mom knows about me. I haven't talked to her much about it, mainly because I don't really feel comfortable talking to her about it. It's like, I feel like they had a right to know, but I don't want to talk to my parents about who I'm going to have sex with in the future. Anyway, she has this big communication problem, and I guess she's been upset lately because I haven't been talking to her much.

    Now she knows I have been depressed for a while. Normally I wouldn't tell her something like that, and I didn't want to, but I guess if I'm honest I kind of told her that so she could get off my back. (she had been nagging me for various reasons for a while, which was making it worse. Was what I did wrong? Possibly. But I'm not sure I could have handled it much longer) Over time she has grown increasingly worried.

    Yesterday she said "we need to talk" and then went on about how she felt I was just staying in my room and not interacting enough with her and the rest of the family. Like she says she's trying to be sensitive but at the same time she is worried when I'm in my room whether I'm enjoying summer or being really depressed. She told me that she wanted to be included in my life, because she feels like she knows me less and less right now.

    And well...I froze. I had no idea what to say to comfort her or defend myself. I did say some things but I don't even know the point I was trying to make. I responded in some way like sometimes I felt she was pushing herself into my life, and that I was still finding out who I was etc. etc. When she really got into her point though I didn't really have anything to say.

    The more and more I think about it, the less and less I know how to approach this situation. Should I just try being nicer to her? Try talking with her more? Doing more stuff with her? I have no idea...she wants me to get to know my step-siblings more (my parents are divorced, but they both remarried, my mom more recently...my step-dad has three sons who aren't here all the time but are here a couple of days every week I'd say). I'm just not the most sociable person. I'm highly introverted. It takes me a while to make friends. I don't know...it's just hard to interact with people sometimes. I don't know.

    I'm really at a loss with this situation. It's hard for me to form a coherent thought for this, so please excuse me if it feels jumbled. Anywway...what should I do???? :help:
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    My mother had similar concerns when I was younger, though it was my dad that told me about her concerns.
    I remedied the situation by talking with them more. Letting them know what's going on in my life because they most likely care and want to know.
    Your parents want to be a part of your life, and it can be very stressful for them, mothers especially, when they feel like they aren't.

    So try talking with her more often. You don't have to force conversation, just when you get home ask how she's doing, what she's been up to, what she's doing tomorrow, etc.
    If you're rude to your mother (I know I used to be), try being rude less often. It's hard to not be rude to someone who's around you/nagging you so much, but I figure that being rude doesn't really help at all, so there's no real point if you can avoid it.

    That's how I handled it for my family, but every family has a different complex, so let me know if this wouldn't work for you.