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What to do so HER words don't affect me too much

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by wandergirl, Jun 15, 2014.

  1. wandergirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2013
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Porto, Portugal
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl and we are gonna meet soon (we already know each other).
    She's been very busy and stressed with work and she ends up taking that on me.

    Now talking about me, I'm a lonely and needy person and i always feel the need of someone showing their affection, so i feel too attached to her as she does care for me.
    Lately every good or bad thing she does has a huge impact on me, and this is terrible cause i know nobody should ever put their happiness on someone else's hand.

    I feel so ashamed to admit i'm lonely and needy, but i would like to find a way not to depend on her this way, it's terrible. :bang: :bang: I suffer and she gets annoyed by that. then i feel worse and she stays with me cause she worries. and this cycle is so unhealthy for us.

    I'm not ready to say that in therapy yet. it will lead to something much bigger and i can't handle it yet.

    If you guys have any advice i appreciate. :kiss:
     
  2. spockbach

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    381
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    Location:
    New York City
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    That you understand your own mental dynamics is a big asset. Allowing yourself to take things slowly and carefully will, ironically, help you relax. And if you feel slightly more at ease - just by looking at things from moment to moment, rather than as one big scary picture - will probably let her feel more relaxed too.