Have I totally messed this up or is there still hope?

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Hi there,

I've fancied this lad at my school for at least a year now. He's really sweet and I get on fairly well with him.

Although I have long suspected he was gay, I never expected anything to come of it (after all there is no-one in my year group, aside from some lesbian girl who I don't know who's out). On the last day of school (which was a few weeks ago) before study leave we departed as friends with a handshake and I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'd missed my chance. After all next year, I'm staying on at the School's sixth form and he's going to college. As we shook hands I remember him giving me a knowing look and him saying something like "We'll see each other again". I was struck by how absolute this comment was, almost like it was almost a promise, but soon dismissed this as a product of my over active (and hopeful) imagination.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks and lots of us were having a celebration out on a bridge in the countryside near where I live. I arrived and was soon called over by a load of people saying "Josh (that's his name by the way) wants to speak with you". Well I was a bit dumbstruck really and went over and soon people were saying "Josh fancies you". Well then I was really stuck on what to do. I initially tried to avoid him while I thought of a response and later I resorted to trying to turn it into some sort of banter. Of course if this had been more private I'd have willingly thrown my arms around him but the fact that it was so public, in front of loads of my peers made me weary. Then he came up to me and put his arm on my shoulder in a way that was a bit more than friendly.

I have never felt so conflicted.

I wanted to put my arm on his shoulder as well, really I did, more than anything, but I just couldn't. There were what seemed like a thousand eyes of my classmates looking at me and I just couldn't do it. Not in such a public setting. Some sort of survival instinct I suppose.

I just ended up standing there, like a lemon, neither embracing him nor shrugging him off. One foot in the closet and one foot out. After a while he took his arm off and made some comment *like "I was only trying to show my emotion" in a sarcastic jokey tone, probably to try and distance himself from his actions.

Later in the night when we were more alone, I tried to undo my previous actions (or inactions as they may have been). For instance I asked him what he wanted to speak to me about earlier (in a rather suggestive manner), but he just told me to "forget it".

I left that evening feeling like an utter failure. Partially because all I'd hoped for for the last year had essentially been handed to me and I turned it down and partially because I've always said inaction always makes a problem worse.*

So great I've essentially made him think I'm not interested and basically screwed the whole thing up.

The next time (and probably the last time) I'll ever see him is at the prom in a few weeks, so I do have some time.

In the meantime does anyone here have any suggestions to help me out here!??

 

Cheers for all your comments lads, I think I'm going to speak with him at the prom and hopefully ask him out.

I've just come to the realisation that even if he reacts badly I've got nothing to loose as he's not coming back to our school in September so even if I have entirely misread the situation and he's actually straight I never have to see him again.

I've got nothing to lose and pottentially lots to gain, I'd be a fool not to give it a go!