:help: So here goes. First I would like to say hello to everyone . I am new here. My name is Alex. Nice to meet you . There reason I decided to open a new thread was because I was sort of dumped by my long distance boyfriend. Well the thing is that we both agreed to end it. I met J. about two years ago. We met through Facebook. But only a year ago we started having meaningful conversations via Facebook messages, so the only logical thing to do next, was to start talking on the phone. The first time I've heard his voice , my heart melted. I literally felt butterflies in my stomach. He was the first gay person that I talked to using my voice. We continued to talk for about two months, but after those months have passed he started fading out and disappearing, by gradually becoming more and more distant, until he stopped replying to my messages. I decided that was it, and moved on by deleting my account and focusing on my studies. But five months later, I decided to send him a friend request and message from my new profile. He replied and accepted my request, and asked for my phone number. He told me that he lost both his phones while fishing that's why he couldn't contact me anymore. I know this was a lame excuse, but I bought it . The first night we talked from 10 p.m to 8 a.m. This continued until it became a habit, and then a routine. The first thing we did when we woke up, and the last thing before going to bed was to call each other. Sometimes we would talk on the phone all day long. I know this was not necessarily healthy, but I was in love. And so I thought was he. He still lives with his ex of five years and doesn't have a job. He said that they haven't done anything in years even though they still sleep in the same bed. My ex also likes expensive things, and before he was with me he wanted to be with a sugar daddy, but things between the two of them did not work out, because the daddy wanted someone fit. I Yeah. I know. The first time we met, I was absolutely exhilarated. I had to ride the train for about 5 hours, and get up at 3 a.m in order to get on time. We went at a small coffee shop and talked. Afterwards we met with his friends. He came earlier, before them to meet me. He held my hand in his hand, while we were in his friend's car on our way back to the train station, and we even went to the bathroom together, and we kissed. It was magical, despite the location. It was the first time that I kissed a man, especially someone I had feeling for. All the way back, I felt literally drugged .with, well, love. The trees seemed greener, the birds were singing more beautiful than ever. Everything seemed magical. But since then I should have sensed that something was off.. In the first place he said he is more taller than me, and when we kissed I touched his lips with my tongue, and he went off like "Stop it Alex! You are like a lizard", and barely touched his lips.. Time went on, and season came and went. For the winter holidays my parents decided to invite him over. He stayed 10 days with me, and said that we are a couple without asking me first. I found that a bit weird, but I rolled with it. I thought these days were going to be fantastic, but.. It was not like that necessarily.. For one thing he told me about his sad childhood. About how he never had a normal Christmas, a happy memory from that time. I felt really bad about this. Maybe this is why my parents actually decided to invite him over. That is not the point now though. He told about how much he wanted to decorate the X-mas tree. So you can imagine how excited I was to be able to offer that to him.. Well the thing is he started saying that I should have washed the tree before, when I joked about it being a bit dusty, and also half way through the decoration he gt bored and started rushing me.. Also in the middle of the night he sent me downstairs to bring him sweets. He complained that I take too long to wash the dishes, and one time I was changing in front of him, and he started criticizing my body, "You look good naked, but if I were you I would be ripped. You are fit, but that's it." I felt literally like shit.. He is chubby. I never had a problem with this. When you love someone you do not care about stuff like that. At least I know that I do not. And immediately after he "attacked" me, he told me to go do the shopping that we were supposed to do together alone. I felt like an expendable object. We did not really do anything sexual, and he used to blame me that I am too sexual, and that I should go and masturbate alone in the bathroom. I decided this was all in my head. I wanted to believe that he saw me the same way that I saw him. While he was at my place, he made plans about our future, about leaving Romania and getting married in another country. My parents have some friends in another country that promised me that I could get a job there. He also used to tell em that I will never find anyone better than him. When i asked him why he thinks so highly of himself, he answered I know what I have to offer!".After the ten days were up, things were still peachy between the two of us. He continued to say I am handsome, the love of his life, and the most important person in the universe . After my parents turned around 360 degrees, and decided that my gayness is just a phase things started changing, but we continued to talk just as much as before. Fastforward to April 2014, he started acting distant after he heard that those friends can no longer help me. He went almost no contact for two weeks. He told me that he will not be able to talk to me because his grandma is sick, and that his sister is around him all the time. I understood this and accepted it. After he came back, he told me that I pissed him off that I sent him messages asking about how his grandma is feeling. But something happened in the meantime. Those friends called and said that maybe they can help me get a job, but I did not tell him this. Eventually I gave in and told him, he was lovely once again. Before I left the country we skype'd and he declared my unlimited devotion and love. Things did not work as planned, and I had to come back home. After I came home, I sensed that he was very distant on the phone. I asked him what is wrong. He said that eh doesn't know. He afterwards started accusing me that I did not try hard enough to find a job. That I am weak. His ex had the habit of talking over us when we were talking, and he said something like "you were so horny with me. I miss that. You sucked me so good in the beginning",I felt like shit when I heard that.. but I got the courage to ask him if he finds me physically attractive, he said that yes.. with half of his mouth. He said that he is just not that sexual, that it is his problem, not mine. But I insisted and he admitted that maybe he is not that attracted to me, and that my questions made him realize this.. Since the beginning he told me that I am not the type that he usually falls for.. I asked him the next day if he is sure that he doesn't love me anymore, and he confirmed this once again. He was so cold, so distant, like ice. I never knew this side of him. Since then he stopped contacting me, and before he told me that I am his soul-mate, that he wants to tattoo my name on his body, that he will never leave me, not even if I was paralyzed.. He even swore love to me in the church.. Not that it mattered to me since I am an atheist, but I got emotional. Sorry for this long story. He was my first boyfriend. I needed to get it of my chest. Now I just wish to move on, but I do not know how..
