There's this guy I've been seeing for about 6 months now who initially I had my doubts about and he had his but eventually we got over those problems little by little and became comfortable enough to start spending a LOT of time together. He would take time to see me in between classes and even sometimes come by my job as I was getting off work at midnight to spend a few hours with me and we'd cuddle and fall asleep in his truck for a bit nearly every night he came over. Needless to say with me not being very trusting initially and him working to get me comfortable enough to trust him I ended up letting all guards down. Well that all accumulated to this past weekend with Pride. We went out and had an AMAZING time together. He loved that everywhere we went there were people attempting to flirt with me or wanting to feel on my body (I was shirtless and I have nice abs =P) and every time they did I would either say that he was my guy or in one case someone commented on my underwear and responded with "That's MY Andrew" which I could see was making him unbelievably happy. So after a fun weekend like that I figured everything was going perfectly. The problem came in though with us recently talking more and more about a future together and how things would work out. I come from a completely poor background and have had to distance myself heavily from my family because not only are they not trying to do anything with themselves in terms of making a living and being able to live comfortably but also they (namely my mom) have held me back so much from achieving my goals that I knew it was either I had to become independent or be forced into their lifestyle. My mom has also put me through a living hell growing up. I won't go into detail but just know it's bad enough that I have a few mental/emotional problems here and there because of it with one of them being trust. Lately I'd come to trust my guy a lot more and told him about I'd say 70% of my life story. Including all the bad details. He'd come to admire me for growing through it and not letting it turn me into a horrible person as would most people. Throw in the fact that I'm also a virgin and this turns into a possible growing problem. On the other hand he comes from a completely rich background. I mean rich to the extent he lives in a damn mansion. And his family are a little judgmental and Jewish. With me being black and hispanic and them already being a little prejudiced and my stereotypical background he thinks it would pose a huge problem with us being together and me getting to meet his family (I introduced him to mine already) and his family eventually meeting my family that he felt things would never work out and decided to break things off. He also went into detail saying that because he's come to admire me overcoming everything I've had to go through and having a shitty life that he doesn't want to take my virginity (which we had planned on doing the night he broke up with me) and then somewhere down the line we break up and it ends up hurting that much more. I flipped my shit. I couldn't believe that he thinks that I would let his parents drive me away from him because in his mind he thinks they wouldn't accept me nor would his friends. I tried arguing that what if his family, seeing as how they've been through quite a bit themselves, were to view me in the same light as he does now and after getting to know me came to see that although I don't come from a nice background like them that I've become a genuinely good person and it's made me a lot stronger and pushes me to want to make something of myself? What if they come to embrace me as he has because of it? He shot down everything I said stating that I was only going based off hypothetical "what if's" and I tried telling him that's the EXACT same thing that he's doing. His family doesn't know me. They don't even know OF me. Only his mom might have some slight idea of me because he was in the hospital last month and after I begged him enough to let me come see him he told her he had a "special friend" that really wanted to visit him and she agreed to let me come. So in my eyes he's basing his entire situation he's so bent on becoming true in his head all off of a theory just like I am. We spent a good four hours arguing back and forth on the subject with me crying the whole while through because I really don't want to lose him. And if I do have to lose him at some point I want to be able to walk away knowing that at least I was able to try. With him just cutting things off here I feel like I'm failing not only myself but him as well because even during the argument I could see little hints here and there that in reality he wants to give us a chance to work out and he's holding himself back. He actually broke down crying towards the end, and this guy does NOT do crying. Like at all. He even kept apologizing to me during the argument because I was bawling my eyes out and he hadn't shed a single tear. Which hurt that much more when I saw him sobbing because I knew then that regardless of what he might let come out of his mouth he really does care. And I feel I should keep fighting until I'm given the chance to prove him wrong. Even he admits the chemistry between us is like nothing he's ever felt before and we fit together well except in this one area. He says there are other things he's worried about but I feel overcoming this family thing will show him that not every good/lasting relationship comes easy and natural as he views it. Some relationships take some work in the beginning and in the end the payoff is well worth the struggle it took to get there. I wish I could convince him to realize this so we don't just throw this all away. He wants to try to remain friends but even he admitted that considering we would both be going out to West Hollywood and undoubtedly bump into each other at some point it would make us both jealous to see the other with someone else. Any feedback on this guys? I really want to keep this guy because although he feels I deserve better I don't want anyone better or worse. I want him. I typed up a longer and more detailed version of this kinda as a letter to him but also as a journal entry since I originally wrote it in the journal I keep on my laptop. He says that he wants some space for a bit so I'm giving it to him but I also kinda want to print out the letter and leave it on his car or something in hopes that without the tense setting maybe he'll read it and begin to understand how much I'm willing to go through for him.
