I'm in such a messed up situation when it comes to my "family", my life, and my living situations, and I'm not quite sure what I should do at this point. I live with my "father" but I have every intention of leaving as soon as I possibly can. Our relationship is nothing but pure hatred and pain in every way possible. He's abusive, both mentally, physically, and in some extreme cases when he's had an over abundance of alcohol (even for him) sexually, and, i really cant take that anymore. He is just a homophobic drunk, who has ruined me in so many ways its unmanageable, and unbearable. I just, have such high anxiety anymore... I feel like if I breathe wrong, it could be the end of me. So, its no surprise on how badly I want out. But theres an issue with that for a few reasons. The biggest, where am I supposed to go? I'll be of age to be able to legally move out (I'll be 18) this year. So, calling social services or someone of the sort, would be kind of useless... because, 1. who's going to take me in? Honestly, people when they foster or adopt kids, they want the cute young kid with a good personality, etc, not the older kid who has so many issues you cant count, has a style that just doesn't fit in and has an undesirable outlook on life. Lets face it, thats true. and 2. Don't they only hold you till your 18 anyways? I have a few months to live where no one will want me before they just.. throw me out.. or however that happens. However, on the other hand, I don't have the money or a job to be able to withstand a house of my own, I can probably barley afford an apartment on the small jobs I can manage to keep. It just, would be too stressful and difficult for me to do. I already know HOW its like to live on my own, for the most part because i take care of myself now.. luckily i just don't have to deal with the bills regarding the house and what not. I'm already having a hard enough time affording food and other things i need for myself, add that to bills and or rent, id have to get multiple jobs. College is already out of the picture for me, because i just, haven't the money. (As said previously) the only chance i have is if my scholarship entries for an arts college can get me a full ride into a college like that, other than that.. i just wont be able to afford it. And I don't know of any other "family" and i don't have friends, so i have no where to turn and no where to go. I didn't have to deal with all this.. because i was living with a boyfriend that... well we were supposed to be forever... we were going to get our own place where we could afford it together and have a stable living.. we were eventually going to get married eventually (he gave me a promise ring which he later told me to give back) and have a family after he gets done with college and everything was gonna work out, but upon moving out after we fell apart... i was kinda.. hit hard in the face by a brick of reality. Now, I just, don't know what would be the best thing for me to do... Every option has its ups and downs, but ultimately, each decision is rocky and hard. Sorry if this is all to long and came out as more like rambles.. but.. any help would be REALLY appreciated.. gosh. how i basically feel: :bang: :tears: :tantrum: :eusa_doh: :bang: :bang: :bang: :help: :bang: and basically :bang: ;^;
T-T i want to cry i just wish i can do something honey just try to apply to many scholarships as possible is any case if one of them accepted you then i would be really happy i guess most of them offer you to sleep in the student dorm so just get a very small side job and keep saving the money for later i wish things work out with you and i wish one day you just wake up happy with the one you love with a home full of kids ^^
i used to have that kinda future in vision.. but.. i just dont see it anymore.. and im already working 2 small jobs to try to save up the money... but i need to spend some of it on other things.. and just.. im not good at dealing with all this stress... and now im paying for also my therapist and whatever.. and thats not all that cheap.. but i refuse to stay here anymore... and i want out as soon as i can.. i just.. dont have a place to go.. and i just.. wanna give up but im trying hard not to... and i doubt ima get any of the scholarships i applied for... and if i dont go to college i dont get a good job which means im stuck making little money and paying most of it towards keeping myself alive/having a place.. and gosh.. im just stressed.
Oh my gosh honey come here (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Well what you could do is move out and I hate to say it but maybe welfare is the way to go and if foods expensive then go on food stamps. If you don't like that idea them work towards a scholarship and get into arts college because if you get that scholarship you will be able to live in a dorm and you can stay there throughout the year. Anyway I'm really sorry you've had to go through all that bull shit. Also after you turn 18 and if you get into college you might as well have your dad arrested for all those years because he deserves it after all that crap he's put you through.
I'm so sorry for what is going on in your life. But I know this is weird but would you ever considering suing your dad after you move out to collect some money. I know its not the best option but its still an option. Also apply everywhere you possibly can. I can not stress that enough. Also did you Ex break up with you or did you just stop seeing each other due to distance? If distance see if he can give you some money and ask to get help from others. There has to be somebody that can help you.
Hi Jessie, I am so sorry for everything that you have been going through. It seems like you've been dealt a rough hand and nobody deserves to go through what you have been going through. Have you spoken to a guidance counselor in school? They might be able to give you some possible options and help sort out your home situation. You should not have to live in that type of environment. Regarding college, it is definitely not impossible for you to gnce college applications begin, make sure to apply online for FAFSA since I'm sure you definitely qualify for financial aid. You will be able to receive a lot of grants especially if you are from a low income family. There are a ton of free scholarships online that you can apply to as well. If going to a private school is too expensive, you can go to a community college for 2 years and get an associates degree in something that will allow you to make money(ie dental assistant, they make like $60,000 for only 2 years of school!). It may not be something you love but it will give you enough money to be able to live on your own and pay for art school while working. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there!
Ugh...Situations like yours are why I am trying to get into volunteering. It's heartbreaking knowing there are people out there in your situation. I know I probably won't be able to help as much as some will need it, but you have to do the best with the hand you hold... As far as getting out of the house. Best thing to do is to work more hours and make it happen for you. Ultimately, only you can do for you if all other options fail. Look online, find a nice room for rent when first starting out and save up what you can until you can afford something you want. Follow the advice of others about financial aid and hit the books at school. Believe me, not all of us had it easy when we left home. Most of us, including you, struggle. Just know that it gets better, just give it time and put in the hard work to make it happen. Just know it gets better... But its a long uphill climb to get there. You CAN do it... <HUGS>
i never thought of that option.. honestly i dont think hed have the money anyways... he spends it all on alcohol anymore it seems. I dont know HOW we havent gotten kicked out.. i didnt even think he paid the bills, but im assuming he does cause i mean, everythings still the same.. but i guess thats another option.. thanks :/ And.. no.. idk.. everything was fine.. between me and him.. almost perfect.. i mean.. i lived with him, and, helped with what i could though i could never repay him.. getting me out was.. something i couldnt ever repay.. but.. then we fell apart.. and it seemed it was only me trying to fix us... maybe he just gave up on me, i dont know.. wouldnt be the first time someones done that.. so he ended up dumping, and i had to go home after that.. and... he hasnt even said a word since then.. and that hurts more than anything.. but i mean.. ill figure something out... i always do... i just... god i hate this stress... i hate this depression.. i hate the feeling of .. not knowing what to do and just.. feeling so lost... and i know the only person who can honestly help me, is myself.. but when i just dont know how to go about doing that anymore.. its terrifying.. and i just.. feel like im giving up on myself too. but.. none the less.. im.. sure ill figure it out.. somehow.. ---------- Post added 19th Jun 2014 at 08:35 PM ---------- as for everyone above... thank you for your advice.. i just.. hate all this honestly.. i hate having to grow up.. i hate that i had to be pratically an adult before i was even a teenager... i hate that i never had the chance to be a kid, and now i won't because i have everything to worry about.. and i just.. dont get a chance to breathe.. and with everything going on around me.. everything going on with me.. the depression and stress and anxiety and just.. everything.. its so tempting and so easy just to give up... everyone else who used to be there for me gave up.. and i dont know if im stupid for not doing the same... or stronger... because i dont feel strong.. i feel like the weakest there is... maybe i shouldnt even go to college... just.. focus this summer on jobs.. jobs and more jobs... save money... get a crappy as heck place to stay once i turn 18.. and just.. figure things out..im just.. gosh im sick of this all. i apologize if im just rambling.. or if it comes out like that.. i just cant think straight. but ill figure it out... i always figure it out... i survive at least.
The good part is, you will have a chance to breathe very very soon... Ramble as much as you want. For within the rambling is your path. Somewhere in all that haze is what you want to do. So keep talking it out until you spit it out.. The truth is that there isn't a single answer...No single piece of advice that will fix everything. But work on getting yourself in a safe place, get yourself financially secure and then work towards your dreams and aspirations... Growing up sucks... I'm not going to lie, but the inherent freedom it provides easily outweighs the trouble....
i guess... i just really wish that.. none of this ever had to happen, that.. my parents.. where ever they are.. who ever they are.. just had decided that i wasnt a good idea.. instead of having me and throwing me away, cause life sucks, getting old sucks. growing up sucks, but then again, never knew what it was like to be a kid, dont have a comparison.. i just wish i could be someone different... could have been someone different... wish i didnt get stuck in broken home after broken home, loosing everyone i loved, wish i didnt have to deal with this, deal with reality, wish i could have been normal, with a normal life.. and normal family.. its funny, really, how i grew up with kids at school complaining how their parents didnt let them do this, didnt let them do that.. and i was always there quitely thinking about how badly i wished my "parents" WOULD say no... would give two shits about me to tell me not to do something... tell me i cant dye my hair, or i cant leave my room at 3 in the morning, or that i cant ditch school, i wished that id have a family that cared enough to restrict what i did to keep me safe... not give me no limitations.. god i just wish everything was normal. or different... or just.. idk. its just been all one mistake after the other mistake. but im the biggest mistake of them all. This stress and regret and just.. everything is making me literally feel ill anymore.
