So I am definitely in the closet. I don't even know where to start with my family and friends. I am a Christian which causes soooo many problems. My family is conservative, and would not take me being gay well.. When I was 18 I was caught I guess you could say.. Immediately told by my mother she never support me, and wouldn't have me in her life. She sent me to a Christian counselor and it was horrible experience.. Basically just acted like it's something I have gotten past. I even went to a group a few years back that supported people supposedly with "same-sex attraction", and their message is " We are new in Christ, and may always have these desires but it's our choice not to act on them" kinda message... Definitely just has made me feel worse.. I want to be honest. I feel like I lie to everyone in my life. Any advice on where to start with my family friends would be appreciated. :dry:
I live in a conservative area as well. And I'm sorry to say, there's no way of fully convincing them to accept you because of their strong 'faith'. You're 28 years old? If you are, then just get out of there, live an independent life in another city. Get a job and get a LIFE. Don't let them shove their beliefs down your throat - remember that it's YOUR LIFE, not theirs. We only live once in this world. However if you're not ready yet and pretty much financially dependent to your family... just hang in there, and wait until you are. I've experienced it before, and the moment I was independent, I moved out, got a job somewhere else, and lived my life to the fullest. Sure, they will be mad at you or banish you forever. But one thing about family is, you're still a family member whatever they do. Over time, they will heal and forget about your issues (or at least won't like to hear them) and develop tolerance about your sexual orientation. Worst case scenario, is you would stay with them and be quiet. Force yourself to be 'straight' and marry someone they want you to marry just to get over this 'confused phase'. Then after a few years, find yourself being empty... unhappy... because you were not able to have your freedom and lost your youth without living it to the fullest. So my advice is, just do what you want to do, as along as you're not hurting other people... be yourself.
That "Christian" counselor is wrong. Humans are created to crave companionship. It's human nature. People like that expect you to pretend to be happy.
Your "christian" counselor and the head of that group you attended, are all.... ta-da... STRAIGHT (and potentially homophobic). They don't care about you. They know nothing about you. They just want you to be a straight and homophobic just like them.
Thank you for the replies.. I appreciate it. softbutch5765 I am not financially dependent on them. I guess stay more out of obligation to my family. I love brother, and two sisters who are much younger than me, and have helped raised them. My fear mostly comes from losing them.. Since they are 14,13, and 9. Most likely my mother would keep them from me and that would be horrible to me. I honestly wish they were older, and could make their decision but unfortunately it is what it is. Relocating is actually something I am going to do I plan on moving to Atlanta, GA next May. Most my life I have done what is expected of me.. Basically I need to stop being a pussy, and do something.
Reading this makes my heart hurt I'm in the same boat. I have a very conservative mother, who I think would probably still love and support me, but it still scares me. I love my mother dearly and she has done so much for me that I feel like telling her this would be too much. I unfortunately am still dependent on my mother at this point, but hopefully not for much longer. Do you have any friends you can talk to about any of this? If you don't mind me asking.
