I came out to my parents about six years ago. At first, they didn't take it very well, but they've slowly come to accept it. Actually, I don't think my dad really cares all that much. This is mostly about my mom. I think she is actually fine with me being gay, but she is petrified about what *other* people think about me. And because of that, she would often say things that make me very sad, and often very frustrated too. I should add that I'm an only child, and I always felt that my parents love me very much. But lately, I'm doubting that more and more. A few examples of things she said over the years: -"You shouldn't be holding hands when you're in public, since a lot of people don't like it." -"Keep a low profile. Don't tell your friends [that you're gay] unless you have to, because they would say things behind your back." -"You shouldn't worry about getting promoted too much at work. If you get promoted to high ranks, people would find out that you're gay." -"Why did you talk to your cousin? Did you tell her anything? Does she know? Don't talk to them." -"How are you getting along with your FRIEND?" (where friend is my boyfriend... she would never call him a partner or boyfriend, as if that really changes anything.) -"It's good that his parents [my boyfriend's parents] have two kids--otherwise they must be so sad that their only child would be gay." She just sounds so ignorant, and maybe she is. I live across the country from my parents, so we mostly talk over the phone. These types of conversations come up maybe once every few weeks, and every time we're done with these phone calls, I am just filled with sadness and frustration for the rest of the week. Sometimes I considered just hanging up on her, but I hadn't done that. Sometimes I just say nothing because I just don't know what to say. I'm flying home next week, and I'm thinking that if I have an opportunity, I should have a talk with her. Any advice on how I should approach it?
