I know that I'm not ready to come out to my family, but I really love my girlfriend and I don't want to damage my relationship with her. My girlfriend comes from a very accepting family. She didn't really have any trouble coming out to them or her friends. She's very proud of her sexuality and I admire that about her. We met online a few years ago, become friends, and then lost touch for a while. A year ago we started talking again and it wasn't long before we were messaging each other every night. She had feelings for me but she was afraid to bring them up because she wasn't sure if I was into girls. Eventually she did and I confessed that I liked her too. It's a long-distance relationship even though we don't actually live that far apart because neither of us can drive. We've only met in person once and it wasn't a proper date because my mom was there. I, on the other hand, come from a highly Catholic, conservative family. I'm mostly worried about my mom. Her acceptance level of homosexuality has its ups and downs. There was a time a couple years ago that I thought she would be okay if I had a girlfriend but that's disappeared again recently. If anyone has seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you'll know that one of the characters is a lesbian. Last summer I was at home a lot and I'd never seen the show before, so I started marathoning episodes. Mom would come home and one day there was an episode where the character kissed her girlfriend and Mom yelled, "Gross!" I have a lot of other examples but that's the one that comes to mind most often. The truth is, I'm still dependent on my mother financially. During the school year I'm mostly self-sufficient because I go to university several hours away, but during the summer I come home. I graduate in a year and my ultimate goal is to move away and attend graduate school out of state. Once my mom doesn't have that financial hold over me, I plan to come out. It's important to me to be self-sufficient and out of the house because I honestly don't know how she'll react. She's been emotionally manipulative toward me in the past. Best case scenario is she isn't happy about it but she still loves me. She could cut me off financially or refuse to allow me to see my girlfriend. I don't think she'll kick me out of the house but it's still a possibility. I was up-front with my girlfriend before we started going out that my family wouldn't be accepting. She said it wasn't something she ever wanted to deal with but she was willing to look past it. I love her and I don't want to let my family ruin it.
