Growing up, I've always been a hardcore christian teenager that went to church, bible study, and led a youth group at our school. Seventh and eighth grade were my two years where God was the pinnacle of my life. Since I was 11-12, I've had gay inclinations and thoughts. I just ignored it until the end of my fourteenth year and now into fifteenth. (Ive never had sex, kissed, etc. with anyone yet) I've studied the bible on homosexuality, heard sermons, and listened to other christians' opinions on the matter. There is not a perfect resolution on the pro gay side, and anti gay arguments are clearly just "it says it is a sin". I dont know what to believe. Ive asked God for help in finding truth on the matter, and nothing. I just cannot continue in my beliefs. Ive tried to find truth in this, and I cant. I believe I was made gay....I cant be attracted to any girls. But some christians argue otherwise. Can anyone else relate to this? Im expected to be active in church now, and I cant do it. I wouldn't consider myself athiest, because I still believe deep down God is there. I just cant bring myself to pray or read the bible anymore, I'm too frustrated.
I had the same problem. I was raised as Catholic and I believed so hard, but when I read in the Bible fragments about homosexuals I thought "God hates me". Though I still believed, I couldn't accept myself. Then I joined Lutheran church and they told me that God had loved me since I was born. I mean if you still love God and believe that he exists, you'll find a Christian community that will accept you. By the way I'm 15 too.
Faith in the theistic terms is belief without evidence which is also known as gullibility. Therefore,welcome to the world of the rational. Try not to hold onto any god beliefs out of fear though. There is nothing to be afraid of when confronting reality on it's own terms. Happy days
^Radioactive Bi, fuck yeah! I've been an atheist for a few years now. I used to struggle with the whole god concept, until I realized that it was just myths bundled up into blind faith. I'm not trying to invalidate your beliefs....I know what that's like. I used to be a Christian. Honestly, I have never felt more free now as an atheist than when I was a believer, be it Christian, Wiccan, or what have you. Good luck~
There are many denominations within Christianity and you may find a 'home' in another, more progressive denomination. Would you be able to consider that? The more progressive Churches tend to take a less dogmatic approach that suits LGBT Christians better. Personally, I think these Churches have a more learned approach to the Theological concepts and arguments too and are more engaged with the modern world. There is a world of difference between taking the Bible seriously and taking the Bible literally. A literal understanding of the Bible essentially means subscribing to ideas that are contrary to basic logic. If you approach the Bible with a more open mind and do a bit of research into the history and context of the various passages you begin to see things rather differently. It can be rather enlightening. I'm assuming you have heard of Archbishop Desmond Tutu who served as a Church leader in South Africa during the apartheid years? He has clearly stated that he would rather go to hell than a heaven with a homophobic God. It's a powerful statement from a man of great faith and courage. If it's good enough for him, then it's certainly good enough for me. I hope it is for you too. You don't have to abandon your faith, but you do need to follow your own faith path. That might require a bit of time, effort, research and reading, but all's not lost.
I used to be a muslim but now I totally lost my faith , I even hate to hear about it , it causes me panic attack . I dont know much about christianity tho .
I've been in a similar situation. Christian, not questioning what the bible's view of homosexuality is... and in my case, I don't consider myself Christian anymore despite still believing my denomination's take on the bible. Now I suppose I'm just giving god the middle finger. He may have made everything, but, well, your father made you, and you don't have to agree / listen to everything your father says. It's a painful way to live, but sometimes you've gotta stand up for what you feel is right despite what others think about it, no matter who they are.
I have no religion … but I believe many gay christians have managed to reconcile this conflict. I hope you get some helpful answers on EC.
I can relate, I just lost my faith a month ago and I am still working on understanding what that means. It's hard and I am so sorry about that. I wish no one else would ever have to experience what I felt. It is rough now, but that doesn't mean that it will stay that way. Also, do not feel like you have to keep your faith or not, either way it will be the right choice for you at the time. And then if you decide to go the other way, it will still be okay. I myself am happier as an atheist, but this life is not for everyone, and that is okay. If you need or want someone to talk to about this I am here, I understand. I am sorry that you are going through this.
To add more my main conflict is just understanding WHY it is a sin for me to kiss another guy instead of a girl. Other sins, such as rape, adultery, theft...they hurt others. I can't believe such a loving God would condemn love just because it is between the same sex. What the bible says and what I think God would do contrast one another. (and to be fair, Paul condemned homosexuality, not God directly) Also, my church's stance on homosexuality is "We are to love and show support to homosexuals, but the practice is wrong and we should try to save them and bring them to Christ". So no, I cant come out in my church because they'll try and force me to change. After bible study my youth pastor was talking about how he thinks he'll eventually be forced by law to marry gay couples (which I think is a little ridiculous, it is his choice if he wants to marry a couple or not). He had an annoyed tone, and the other kid next to me was nodding his head in sympathy. Im not comfortable coming out to people that consider me as having a disease. As for coming out, I have two friends that are moral and trustworthy enough to tell. One is my crush, and one has a crush on me. My crush is a guy, Im crushed on by a girl. So that's an issue. I love the girl too much to hurt her; shes one of my best friends. Same with the guy...I've wanted him to say hes gay friendly (or gay himself) so I could tell him. If he ended up saying he is gay, bonus points. Thanks for all the help! (And for future posters, just saying that you are an atheist doesnt help me any.)
I'm an atheist (former christian), But don't worry, I am going to say more than that To me, it sounds like you need to find a place where you are more accepted. There are accepting churches out there, but they can be hard to find. Some sites like gaychurch.org might help you out. Any belief that leads you to think that you have a disease is not going to be good for your self-worth in the long run. I would not suggest that you come out in the church that you are currently in. I know that my old church had the same belief, and they threw me out. So, it's probably best to lay low until you find another place to go. In the end, it is your choice. There are a couple of ways that you could go if you want to remain a Christian. One would be to find a more open and accepting church. The other would be to go it alone and be a Christian, but not have a home worship community. The current church is not healthy for you, spiritually or mentally. Finally, sometimes you do need to take some time away in order to evaluate and make the best decision for yourself. So, if you do find yourself drifting away more, try not to get too alarmed, as this might just be you trying to process what is best for you in the long run.
