Does anyone have experience with close friendships that are borderline romances? Especially one sided romances when you is already in a happy relationship like my case here: One of my good friends and I came out around the same time a little over a year ago. I had always found him rather attractive, and had been crushing on him a little since I met him a few years prior. But at that time he had a girlfriend and there was no indication that he wasn't straight, so I figured it was a lost cause. He basically came out to me by inviting me out to a weekend of gay nightlife. The first night was really fun. Knowing he was queer gave me the hopes that there might be a chance with him. The second night, I had too much to drink and made some clumsy "passes" at him (putting my arm around his shoulder, holding his hand, etc.) He rejected me and instead hooked up with some random guy. That really hurt, not helped by the fact I had never dated, and had next to no romantic/sexual experience, but for some reason it made me even more enamored with him than I had been before. It was a while before I saw him again. Enough time anyway for me to move on and start a relationship. However, we are back to hanging out on a regular basis, and I am confused what he actually is/means to me, and how it is appropriate for me to act around him. I don't think that I desire a relationship with him, I'd much rather things stay as they are because: 1. While he knows I find him attractive, he has told me he does not think of me in the same way. 2. I value him as one of my closest and most supportive friends, and wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. 3. I love my boyfriend, we are highly committed to each other, and I would not want to give him up for anything. I could say much more, but this thread really isn't about him. At the same time, I can't help but still find him really attractive, his hugs have me feeling warm and fuzzy for days afterward, there are times when I wish it would be okay to cuddle up with him, and sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to kiss him. A few nights ago, we were out with a bunch of friends and somehow the hookup from a year ago came up in conversation, and there I was feeling all of that pain all over again (having drunk to much again didn't help). Clearly I'm far from "over" him. I'm just having trouble sorting out all my emotions, and any thoughts/advice would help.
