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I don't know what to say to my friend!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Cille, Jun 24, 2014.

  1. Cille

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    I don't know if I'm in the right category here, but I hope you'll bear with me.
    I'm a lesbian in my early twenties in desperate need of some advice: I have a really good friend, a guy, whom I've now known for about a year.
    So, we're a group of friends who sometimes sleepover at each other's places, and the other night this friend spend the night at my place. It's usually pretty mellow: I fall asleep while he watches a movie or something. This night was pretty much the same, except I woke up in the middle of the night from him having, what now seems like the only logical thing, grapped my covers and pulled them so that I'd turn somewhat towards him. I then tried to go back to sleep, but it seems that he'd thought that I'd already fallen asleep as he slowly and very carefully let his hand slip under my covers. At first I figured he just wanted to spoon or something, which wouldn't be all that weird. But he proceeded to move his hand up my stomach, up to my breasts, and then he started grapping them.
    I didn't know what to do at this point, so I just pretended to be asleep and rolled over to the other side. But he was persistent and carried on reaching down between my legs, thinking I was asleep, until I'd move. It was just so obvious that he would wait just a while, and then start touching me.
    I was then terrified of sleeping and didn't sleep for the rest of the night. The next morning I didn't mention anything about it, cause I didn't know what to say, and I haven't spoken to him since. He's texted me a few times, but I haven't texted him back. I really don't know what to do about it; I talked to another friend of mine about it, but he just said that he kinda understood why he did what he did, which just freaks me out completely. I can't really talk to my other friends about it, because I'm afraid it will make the situation even more uncomfortable, since they're also his friends. I'm also really not good with confrontation or conflict.

    I just wanna know what to do or if I'm just overreacting if anyone here knows or has some good advice.
    And thank you for taking the time to read all my crap :slight_smile:
     
  2. AlexL

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    You are not overreacting, since he disrespected you by touching you without asking if he could do it, you know? he is your friend, and he should respect you always.
    Well, did he know you are a lesbian? if he did and he still touched you then I think you should get away from him, because he can do worse next time.
    if you still want to talk to him, just be careful. I think you could have a serious conversation about this with him to make things clear and less uncomfortable.
    There is no need for conflict, I think talking to him can help a lot!
    Hope it helps you :icon_bigg
     
  3. Cille

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    Thank you so much for the response!
    Yes, he knew, and that's exactly my concern; that his actions were so deliberate. I just can't really avoid him, because we have a lot of the same friends. And he really is a good friend.
    But thanks for the advice, I think I'm just gonna have to talk to him about it. Any advice on how to aproach such a conversation? Sorry for my neediness, I just don't really know how to handle this situation.
     
  4. AlexL

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    Hey, there's no problem, we're here for advice aren't we? :wink:
    So, maybe if you can't say it face to face you should try to talk to him by texting I think.
    I know how scary face to face can be sometimes :icon_sad: