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My friend touched me in a really weird way...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ALilConfused, Jun 24, 2014.

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  1. ALilConfused

    ALilConfused
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    While I was hanging out in his house and in the kitchen (getting something out of the cabinet above me), he came up from behind me, gently put his hand on right side of my waist/hip area, and says "excuse me". I felt kinda uncomfortable afterwards. I mean, why did he do that?

    I occasionally get weird vibes from him from time to time (especially when I first met and started to get to know him), but he's been acting kind of strange in a different way recently. Back before I came out to him, he would sometimes get really flirty and stuff with me, but when I did come out to him, he made a side comment about him being straight after he said he accepted me.

    He rarely ever acts flirty anymore (the thing with the weird touch mentioned before is the exception to the rule), but sometimes, it feels like he goes out of his way to not wear a shirt whenever I'm at his house. There have been a few times where he's taken a shower and just sort of walked around his house in nothing but a towel while I was there.

    Shouldn't a straight guy be completely uncomfortable doing that kind of thing around a gay guy? Most straight guys I know act like we have cooties or something. Sometimes, it feels like he's trying to hint at something, but other times, it feels like he goes out of his way to prove his straightness. :confused:
     
    #1 ALilConfused, Jun 24, 2014
  2. Emmanuella

    Emmanuella
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    It sounds like he may be a little confused...
     
    #2 Emmanuella, Jun 24, 2014
  3. ALilConfused

    ALilConfused
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    #3 ALilConfused, Jun 24, 2014
  4. KeanusGuitarus

    KeanusGuitarus
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    To be honest I think it is a good thing that he is acting that comfortable around you. I don't think it means that he is gay, confused, or questioning, I just think it means that he's still comfortable doing anything he does around anyone else by the sounds of things. That it doesn't matter if your gay, you're still his buddy and he doesn't mind. Was he perhaps pushing you out of the way of anything in the kitchen, to grab something?

    Of course I am not certain, but this is what I think at he moment. Good day!
     
    #4 KeanusGuitarus, Jun 24, 2014
  5. ALilConfused

    ALilConfused
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    The title was mostly to just draw attention to the thread, but I don't think it's normal for a friend to touch another friend in that area.

    To put what I said earlier into context, he was so flirty and weird with me before my coming out that another guy noticed and constantly teased me about it by pretending to be really into me.
     
    #5 ALilConfused, Jun 24, 2014
  6. SimpleMan

    SimpleMan
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    He stopped being flirty once you came out: Probably means he didn't want to lead you on. A lot of straight guys will jokingly flirt with other guys.

    The pushing at the hip: Different people have different levels of comfort with touch. In his family, it may be pretty typical to move someone out of the way in that manner. You may not be comfortable with it, but he could see it as a platonic way to get you to move. I would definitely be more uncomfortable with that kind of a touch, but I know other people who wouldn't bat an eye.Let him know it makes you uncomfortable if it happens again.

    Honestly, just enjoy your friendship. If he's gay or bi, he'll let you know when he's ready. Most likely straight though based off what you've said in the initial post. Be sure to let him know how much you appreciate that he stuck by you after coming out too. He sounds like a great friend.
     
    #6 SimpleMan, Jun 24, 2014
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