Hey all, long time no see. I'm sure I could put 20 dollars on not being the only one here to have never met their father. I've been living just under a fourth of the average life expectancy and I have never had the opportunity. He was a drunk and Mum, when pregnant, told him he could come and meet his child when he was sober, before breaking up with him. He never did come. Two days ago my grandmother tells my mother and me that she stopped by to see him recently and had a talk with him, and that he's looking good: wasn't drunk, had a job, and a wife and kids. She then tells me that he said he would like to meet me. First thing i thought was: "Why would she do that?," and the second was: "Do I really want to see him?" I wanted to when I was younger, around 9 or so, but I was young, as I said, and felt like I was disadvantaged to everyone else that knew both of their parents. These days I have been thinking that if my father never wanted to come to meet me that I wouldn't want to meet someone like that. I barely even thought about my father anymore. So my grandmother bringing this up was a shock and it has left me feeling really weird. I don't know what to do, so I come here looking for help from you guys. What do you think i should do? What should I weigh into the equation? Thanks for listening: Keanus.
Ask your mom what she thinks. Maybe just go and meet him once and see how it goes, nd tell him how you feel about him abandoning you. If it goes bad, dont see him again. But if it goes well, maybe you can see him a little more often.
lovinladies is right. if you do see him once, and it wasn't good, you don't have to do it again. the other thing I would think might be worth considering is this: --if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. my dad has been searching for a long time for who his birth parents are because he wants to. my girlfriend doesn't care who hers were really, so she isn't--because she doesn't want to. you get to do whatever you want. and you are allowed to change your mind. if you're curious about your dad, or you feel like you need to talk to him or see him, then you should do it. if you don't really care, then you don't have to. no matter what anyone else says, you can do whatever you feel comfortable with. --In case you do want to meet him, you don't have to do this right now. you've gone your whole life without seeing him and you don't have to rush yourself into it, regardless of what anyone else says. you don't owe him a meeting and if he's waited this long, he can wait as long as you need to to feel okay about this.
